Ahhh, Gan on the Victoria Day weekend.
The sound of turbines, the smell of jet fuel.
The wind blowing the windsock straight out,
The sound of hail hitting the roof during the dirt dive.
The snow coming at you like some sort of bizarre Star Wars special effect as
you track away.
The rain.
And more rain.
And yet more rain.
Followed with more snow.
How bad was it?
Hop and Pops out of an Otter at cloud base - 2.5 - bad.
I brought my parka and winter boots bad. And was glad I did.
The most popular souvenir was a Gan neck warmer.
I don't jump when it's that cold in October, why did I do it in May?
My body temperature is only now returning to normal.
Thank God it's over. Larry
I'm now living the life that everybody imagined they would have when they retired. If they had one hell of an imagination.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Do not leave this where your Tandem Passengers might see it
This is the original version of an article I wrote for CanPara magazine. I sent it in to the editor who returned it to me saying that she liked the article but it needed to be cut down to half it's size. I complied so she could publish it, but I like the long version better.
Printed without permission
WARNING:
DO NOT LEAVE THIS WHERE YOUR TANDEM PASSENGERS MIGHT SEE IT.
THEY WILL PROBABLY RUN AWAY AND HIDE
TanDamNation
By Crazy Larry
Imagine this: a buddy comes to you and offers you a job skydiving. A REAL job skydiving. You jump, you get paid. The Holy Grail of the sport. One catch. Well, two catches. Ya gotta depart the aircraft with an intentional malfunction (pilot chute in tow), and with someone who has never done a jump before strapped to your chest as a wild card... Did I mention having twice as many handles as you’re used to, creating an exponential increase in the complexity of the decision making process in case of an emergency? If this sounds like fun to you, then you too should consider becoming a Tandem Instructor!
In the spring of 2004 Dave Thistle started Adrenaline Tandem, and brought it to Mile High Parachuting in Arnprior Ontario Ottawa
After some negotiation, and juggling of schedules, Mario Prevost agreed to come to Arnprior for an extended weekend to teach a Tandem Instructor course.
This is where Gerry Cluett, Ross Redman, Buck Whalley, and I, come in.
On a gorgeous late April morning, the four candidates, Mario, and Jeff Dean as Mario’s assistant, met at Mile High to start the training. We all approached it with vastly different ideas of what it would be like, and this showed in the stress levels experienced by the candidates during the course. The morning started with Mario explaining a general overview of the gear, and going through the paperwork. All the candidates having thoroughly familiarized themselves with the Tandem gear beforehand, the paperwork turned out to be more complicated than the gear.
Surprisingly quickly, Mario pronounces us ready to go up and do a solo jump with Tandem rigs. This is when the reality of what we had gotten into started to sink in. It was the quietest ride to altitude I have ever been on. Buck wasn’t worried; he had done several jumps with Tandem rigs as part of his work with various companies within the industry. Ross and I were very stressed, this being the first time we’d have to deal with all those handles and potential decisions if things went badly. I think Gerry fell asleep, displaying a level of comfort with the whole concept that he demonstrated throughout the course, and continues to this very day with paying passengers.
On my jump, the launch went ok, and I got the drogue out in good time, but that's when the plan ran into some problems. As soon as the drogue was out I seemed to pitch forward to about a 45 degree angle, and start potato chipping like crazy. Everything I did to try and get it back under control just seemed to make it worse. I finally gave up and went on to do my handles check. That’s when the problems really started. None of the handles were where I left them. After repeatedly groping most of my gear and some parts of myself, I finally found them all, but I really didn't want to let go of any of them to look for the others. When I eventually remembered to check my altitude I was shocked to discover I was just passing through 7500 feet. I was positive I had already blown through my deployment altitude and was about to either get a planet stuffed up my ass or experience my first reserve ride when the Cypress
That's when it really went straight to f...... heck.
For the next 15 seconds I frantically grabbed my butt while watching the altitude unwind. Panic began to set in and I was about to give up and start pulling any handles I could find, in no particular order, when I finally found the handle and released the main. I now have a new definition of the term "snivel". Take a 390 square foot canopy, hang 180 pounds underneath it, and it sure doesn't open with the alacrity of my Stiletto. Eventually, finally, reluctantly, the Damn Thing opened. The toggles were where they were supposed to be, the first thing that went according to plan on this skydive, and my heart rate began to return to normal. In the end, I landed fine, only missing the landing area by about a hundred yards. It took a while to calm down, I was bingin' off the walls when I dragged all that gear back in to the packing area, and I started to think I just might live after all.
Tell me again how much fun I'm having. We haven’t even got to the complication of a passenger yet.
After we get packed, Mario ran us through a thorough debrief, and then began getting us ready to do a jump as passengers. I go up with Mario, and Buck goes up with Jeff. You might expect that as experienced jumpers, we would be unhappy being strapped to someone else’s chest and not wearing a parachute. But in fact, we see it as just being along for the ride, and are quite happy not having to deal with all those pesky handles.
It was very instructive doing a jump with someone as experienced and professional as Mario, and I learn why he uses the term “Student” instead of passenger, and Tandem Instructor instead of Tandem Master. As soon as the canopy is open, he hands over a set of toggles, has me find the airport, and begins teaching canopy control. A steady stream of coaching follows, and the potential of Tandems as a training tool was quickly made clear. We slide in to a landing right in the middle of the landing area. Maybe this course won’t be so bad after all. The day ends around and we head off for dinner, making it an early night to prepare for the next day.
The next morning we start bright and early, getting ready for our first jumps carrying passengers. Mario takes us out behind the classroom one at a time to test us on emergency procedures. If you get the chance you should look at the emergency procedures flowchart for Tandem gear. With sport gear, you throw your pilot chute, and if it doesn’t result in a functioning parachute, you look reach pull, look reach pull. For tandems, the flow chart covering what to do when things don’t go according to plan covers TWO PAGES and looks like a wiring diagram for an Ipod! It seems to be mostly concerned with entanglements with the Drogue or the Drogue Bridle, and the eleven different options you have depending on exactly how you are entangled. Like I’m gonna be able to tell? No matter what the problem, once you work your way through the chart, all the paths seem to end with “Pull Your Reserve Handle”. It also includes instructions such as “Right arm incapacitated due to Student interference or dislocation – Bite or hit student to free right hand”. Aha! Finally! After all these years and all these skydives, a potential use for that hook knife I’ve been carrying around! Self defense! No stress here!
Mario’s approach is to keep running us through the scenarios again and again, until we start to get complacent, and then sneak up behind us to grab and yank at us, spinning us around and shouting in our ears until we start making mistakes, When we get too frazzled, he lets us calm down for a minute before starting all over again. Ross had the toughest time with this drill. He was at least as nervous as any of us, and hadn’t had a thing to eat all day. After he had made several mistakes in a row, Mario called a break, and Ross gave some serious thought to dropping out of the course. After he caught his breath, got something to eat, and screwed his head back on straight, Ross returned and aced the test.
For our first jump as Instructors, we took turns being each others passengers. Ross showed far more confidence in me as my passenger than I felt as his Instructor. I have to wonder what Mario was thinking, pairing the two hyper guys on the course together.
After another very quiet ride to altitude, and with the two of us cooperating surprisingly well together, we managed to manhandle ourselves out the door. The freefall portion of the dive went ok, except for Ross and I both trying to stop the potato chipping which resulted in making it so bad I had trouble reaching around to feel for handles. Again.
Mario had come along as an observer, and as a backup in case neither one of us could find a drogue release handle. That proved unnecessary as I was able to deploy the main at the assigned altitude, using the assigned handle.
That’s when the shouting started. Ross and I were both pumped with adrenaline, wearing frappe hats, with a good wind moving past our heads, so neither one of us could understand what the other one was saying until it had been repeated several times, becoming progressively louder each time. I released the brakes, gave Ross the toggles, and started trying to stow the drogue release handle while shouting canopy control instructions. He chose to ignore my advice, shouting back something about me forgetting to put on water gear and him not wanting to go any further out over the reservoir. After spending a couple of minutes waving the handle and cable around and accomplishing absolutely nothing, with the two of us shouting contradictory and completely useless advice at each other, I finally reach forward and shout at Ross to take the handle so I could get on with releasing the two hip attachment points. It didn’t take too long to get them unhooked and slackened off, but I spent a couple thousand feet trying to find the places to reattach them. They were about a foot further up my back than they were when I practiced this on the ground. Once they were finally reattached, Ross, his ears having popped and his hearing now restored, tilted his head back, and in a very quiet voice asked why I was shouting at him. Finally feeling as if I had things more or less under control, we started to set up for our landing approach. Once again I chose to use my private landing area well to the east of where everybody else was landing. Completely forgetting to give my passenger any instructions to prepare for landing, I started the flare about twenty feet too high, and when I tried to let the toggles back up, Ross held them down shouting about even first jump students not being that stupid. We tumbled to a stop in the tall grass, pinning each other down in a tangled mess of limbs, straps, strings, and nylon, giggling like schoolgirls. When we finally made it to our feet, Ross clapped me on the shoulders and said “To steal a line from a movie, We Jumped, We Lived, Good Start!” And just to make clear that none of our antics had escaped attention, after we got back to the packing area Neil wandered over and inquired nonchalantly as to what all the shouting had been about.
Things continued on for another day and a half, equal parts drama, thriller, action-adventure, comedy and farce. But it sure wasn’t boring.
For his first jump, Ross had Jeff as a passenger, and Mario as an observer. Everything went fine until it was time to release the drogue. When Ross had some trouble finding the handle, Jeff and Mario both went in for it as well. Piecing the conflicting stories together later, it appears they all got there at about the same time, they all at least touched the handle, and they all figured somebody else had it, so they all let go, resulting of course in a lost handle.
Buck was geared up and ready to go for one jump about a half hour before anybody else, and spent the time quietly sitting on the steps to the gear room, outwardly calm, but inwardly slowly becoming more and more, shall we say, tense? We finally boarded the plane and taxied around the airport, eventually reaching the active runway, only to stop and wait. And wait. And wait. We started to look around, first at each other, and then our heads began bobbing and weaving like a bunch of gooney birds as we tried to see around each other and look out the windows for traffic. Finally reaching his limit, Buck, in a rather forceful manner, demanded to know what the holdup was. (More Shouting!) Warren
Towards the end of the second day we are shown a video detailing “The Tandem Side-Spin Phenomenon”. It was like watching the movie with all the fatal accidents from Drivers Ed in high school. Some of the skydives shown in this video resulted in fatalities. When it’s over we’re left sitting there looking at each other, all lost in our own thoughts. Mario asks if anybody is having any second thoughts about getting a Tandem rating, and as I look around, I imagine we are all wondering how well we would deal with one of those spins ourselves.
Finally, on the afternoon of the third day, with a total of five jumps each on the course – solo –passenger – and pilot – we’re done. And pretty much done in.
Ross and Donna invited everybody back to their farm for a post-course party and barbecue, and while normally most of us would stick around till the end of the day to try and squeeze in ”just one more jump”, we were all happy to leave those fifty pound rigs with all the handles behind in favor of cold beer and a hot-tub.
The only thing left before we could start carrying paying passengers was to do five jumps with experienced skydivers. That provided some entertainment of its own, like Oleg dragging me out of the plane as soon as the door was open with me shouting “Wait! Wait! Not yet!” Or Dave G doing his imitation of a student freaking out in freefall and twisting around with a big grin on his face to see if I got the joke.
On April 28th I had the privilege of carrying my first paying passenger, Cathy Becker. She had done a Tandem jump the previous year, and had returned to take lessons to become a Real Skydiver. She had been at the drop zone the weekend we had taken our course, and had volunteered to be the first “real” passenger for both Ross and myself. Her trust, and feedback, was gratefully accepted. And I apologize for the landing. I hope the bruise on her ass has healed by now.
We have all long since finished off the rest of the required jumps and have been set loose on an unsuspecting public, four new additions to TandemNation.
A very special and hard earned thank-you goes out to Jeff Dean for his work in organizing the course, for being our guinea pig on many jumps, and for gently guiding us as we continue to learn, and grow into our new roles.
When people found out that we had signed up to become Tandem Instructors, their reactions ranged from “I already know plenty of people who want to kill me”, to “Every time you jump you get the chance to introduce people to something you are passionate about.” We all had different motivations, it may have been the challenge of learning a new skill, earning a “free” jump, the prospect of gaining more respect from our peers, or maybe just to look like a hero and meet girls.
The way I see it: I’ve got the best part-time job on the planet. I jump, I get paid. (And I don’t have to pack!)
Closing Note: Shortly before we did our jump, Cathy Becker was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She has since undergone surgery, many months of Radiation treatment, and Chemotherapy. Her attitude remains positive, and she expects to return next year to continue her training, and become a licensed skydiver.
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