It Was Just A Matter Of When....

And How Expensive.

This is the beginning of my 5th year with this motorcycle, my beloved 2010 Yamaha FZ1, 135 neck-snapping wheelie-poppin horsepower of pure fun. Yamaha claims it's a "Sport-Touring" bike, but the emphasis is really on the Sport part. Together we've traveled over 60,000 km all over North America, and despite the fact that most of the time we've been exceeding the speed limit - often by a considerable margin - I had not yet received a single speeding ticket. I've had cops flash their headlights and roof lights at me in a warning to slow down, received a written warning from the friendliest highway patrolman in Arizona the first time he pulled me over only to have him extract a solemn promise from me to leave the state the second time he pulled me over, but no tickets. Until yesterday.

The fine that accompanies a speeding ticket isn't the real issue, it's all about the demerit points. I can afford the fine, however enough demerits can cost you your licence. But as long as you get a ticket in a state that doesn't have a reciprocal demerit point sharing arrangement with your home province, the points don't follow you home so the only consideration is a financial one. As far as I'm concerned the last 60,000 km were worth every friggin' penny of this ticket and then some.

I left Page Arizona at 7 in the morning headed back to Echo Bay Nevada, but instead of heading northwest on the highway I started out in the complete opposite direction. On my way into town I'd had to make a 100 mile detour because of a landslide that closed a pass through a small mountain range that had cheated me out of what on the map looked like a really twisty section of road. My waiter at dinner the night before (he rides a Ducati Monster) informed me that if I went past the "Road Closed' sign on the highway I could run most of the fun part before being forced to turn around. He went on to say that because the road was closed that there would be no traffic, and no cops. It sounded too good to pass up.

I went past the Road Closed sign doing around 70 miles an hour, by the time I got to the hills I was over 80, and the last time I looked at the speedometer as I leaned into a series of climbing S turns it showed well past 90 and I was still accelerating, butt shifted well off the seat into the turn, knee out to lower my center of gravity, inside arm controlling the handlebar, outside arm relaxed, head up and looking through the corner, grinning like an idiot at how perfectly my day had started.

Which was when a black and white blur came around the corner going the opposite direction at an even greater velocity than my own, but not so blurry that the word Sheriff printed on the side didn't register. 

Crap.

There didn't seem to be any point in slowing down, he had to know that I knew there wasn't any place to run, and I figured it was going to take him a while to slow down, get turned around, and catch up to me, so I just kept on going.

After a couple of minutes when I came to a straight stretch on a plateau I slowed down, and eventually I saw the flashing blue and red lights appear in the rear view mirror. By the time he arrived I had pulled over, removed my helmet, and had Drivers Licence, Registration, Proof Of Insurance in hand.

Instead of pulling up behind me, he pulled up beside me, and through the lowered passenger window asked in a conversational tone "You do realize the road is closed up ahead don't you?"

"Yes." I replied, "But my map showed too good a section of highway for me to pass up."

"Is all your paperwork in order?" he asked as he nodded his head toward the slips in my hand.

Momentarily confused I paused for a second before confirming that indeed it was all up to date.

He seemed to think about that for a minute before he nodded his head, and said "In about 8 miles you'll start seeing the warning signs, better slow down then 'cause if you keep going the way you were you'll never get stopped in time, and I don't feel like spending hours doing paperwork."

Then in a cloud of dust he wheeled his truck into the desert and disappeared back in the direction he was travelling when I first saw him, leaving me standing on the shoulder of the road holding Drivers Licence, Registration, Proof Of Insurance.

4 Hours later in Utah when I came around a corner going 86 miles an hour in a 65 zone however, I wasn't so lucky, 'though the exceedingly polite young man gave me a break and only wrote me up for 80.

$150 For 60,000 km of fun? And no demerits?

He must have been wondering why I was grinning while he was handing me the ticket.

Cuidado Senor, Es Muy Caliente!

No Shit Sherlock! The Fajitas were sizzling hot before the waiter set them on fire!!!  But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Vegas: Much Drunken-ness, and an unsuccessful negotiation to get a stripper to wash my motorcycle wearing a bikini, KA by Cirque Du Soleil isn't any better the second time around even if you stay awake through the whole thing, Mark rented a motorcycle that he would never buy, but he enjoyed his stately ride alongside Lake Mead while I got tired of waiting for him and ran ahead at a great rate of speed.

Ladybugs: I forgot that the plague of Ladybugs that had invaded Ottawa at the time I was shopping for a motor home were a rare strain of biting ladybugs. I was reminded of this at my campground on Echo Bay on Lake Mead shortly after my arrival. I had scooped up and released a couple dozen of the little spotted devils while I was setting up camp (I think the heat and motion of the motor home woke them up). Then there was a piercing shriek from the campsite next door followed by a stream of curses. I looked out the window and there was a blue haired lady at least a decade older than my mom looking at her arm in wonder as she proclaimed " I just got bitten by a ladybug! Have you ever heard of such a thing!" I quietly closed the blinds.

Which brings me to today. Yesterday I woke up in my quiet little campground, and as I drank my morning coffee my gaze fell upon a spread open map of northern Arizona. There are 3 things circled at the top of the map: Monument Valley, The Wave, and Antelope Canyon. I made it to Monument Valley 2 years ago

But I couldn't visit the other places on my list as I was chased back to Eloy by a blizzard that would have left me stranded for a week.
So with no more thought than I put into going there, I've come here, Antelope Canyon. I crossed 2 mountain ranges, a couple of deserts, passed through National Parks, half the Navaho Nation, and took over 600 photographs, to bring me to ........

Then at dinner tonight the waiter in my nice little Family Oriented Mexican Restaurant in Page Arizona walked over to my table, and Set Fire To My Dinner!!!! Everything was normal while the guy walked up, the cast iron plate covered with steak and chicken, onions and peppers, was doing just fine until he poured some kind of liquor over it and Set It On Fire!!! What was he thinking?!?! Everybody knows that setting alcohol on fire leaves the flavor behind, but burns off the alcohol! His warning was wasted, I was already crying over the lost alcohol.

But overall, it's been a good day.

I Hear It Was Minus 25 Degrees Today In Ottawa

Or, My Day In Pictures

 State Road 167 on the way to my campground at Echo Bay, not much fun in a motorhome, but, on a MOTORCYCLE!?!?!

 The golf course next to Skydive Mesquite. It looks like one of those cartoon drawings of a golf course from hell, and makes for a lousy out if you get a bad spot

A lookout on State road 169, North Las Vegas is 20 miles past the furthest range of hills

My copilot