Friday, August 8, 2008

Crazy Larry's Excellent Adventure comes to an end.

The plan was to drop by the house long enough to do laundry, reload the food
plan, drop off some of the smuggled Vodka, and put out a couple of fires at
work. The bookkeeper finally squeezed out 9 pounds of bouncing baby Benjamin
and I wuz gonna take care of some of the stuff she was taking care of for me
while I've been wandering around. She's getting pretty good at it though, 16
Minutes flat.

But the fires are a little bigger than expected, the weather is pure crap
for the next couple of days at any drop zone within 10 hours driving, and on
the weekend Tandems are beckoning. So I shall relax for a few days, then get
PAID to Skydive, and maybe even return to work rested instead of returning
to work to rest.

I never shoulda' left Chicago. My cell phone didn't work there so work
couldn't call me back, I coulda' stayed in the Swamp 'cause it was
unoccupied for the week, the booze and food is dirt cheap, and so are the
jump tickets. Oh well, here I sit, in my den, using coffee and Baileys to
wash down the Extra Strength Tylenol and Naproxen, resulting in a wide-awake
drunk with tingling fingers. So I'm still making my own fun.

Made last load Sunday evening at Skydive Chicago, for a total of 64. Packed
'em all meself. Not bad for an old fart.

Then I jumped in the truck, drove like hell, and made first load Monday
morning in Burnaby with a total of 3 hours sleep.

Shortly after I crawled out of the truck the first person I ran into was
Petey. Midway through the conversation he suddenly asks "Hey, are you Strong
Tandem Qualified?" Nope, sorry. Seems they've got a lot of Tandems booked
that day and just Petey and Rick Epp as Tandem Instructors. A few minutes
later I run into Rick, and he asks the same question. When I was in the
hangar packing after my first jump Tara asks as well. Holy crap, I knew
there was a shortage of qualified Tandem Instructors but this is ridiculous.
Shortly afterwards I hear someone call my name, and when I turn to see a
familiar, smiling face above an outstretched hand, I immediately blurt out
"No! I'm Not Strong Tandem Qualified!" The hand was quickly withdrawn and
the poor guy turned away muttering something about "what the hell is a
Strong Tandem?" That's me, making friends everywhere I go. I could get the
rating, but if you've never had a cutaway, you have to do an intentional,
and I want to see how much longer I can go before I chop. I may already hold
a record.

Ended the Day with a smokin' hot 4-way with Brett, Jean, and Derek. That
jump alone made the stop in Burnaby worthwhile. The best part was seeing
Jean laughing in freefall as the other 3 of us pointed "It's a right hand
donut not a left!". I do love a good 4-way.

So that's pretty much it for this year. I will still have some fun in the
next few days, but the manic pace has come to an end.

To all those who have been observing and commenting on the events of the
past couple of weeks, I hope you have enjoyed living vicariously through my
antics. To those who actually participated, I thank you for your company,
your indulgence, your friendship, your forgiveness, your booze, your food,
the skydives, the occasionally entertaining dirt-dives, and letting me join
your party.

Joanne and Larry, we will meet again on a tailgate somewhere, in the sky or
in a parking lot, sooner I hope, rather than later. You run the finest
drive-through I've ever seen.

Kelly, miss your smile and "Hey, it's all fun!'' attitude already. Skills
camp in the spring? Bring Phil.

Tom, bring gear the next time you're passing by this way, we'll go do
something stupid together. And was that turn right 7 streets after the curve
to get to the Liquor store?

Bob, maybe if you try writing the skydive on your arm, it might help the
recall process.

Jean, thanks for the hospitality, and laughing at my jokes.

Al, they announced that next year they would be doing "Battling 100-ways".
100 Flat VS 100 Head-down, whose will build first? The challenge is made,
consider your face slapped. Winner buys the drinks. Do you accept?

Matt, You know where you're gonna be next summer, better warn the bride now.

Gerry, book some vacation time at the end of July 2009, we've got a party to
go to.

And for that matter, anybody who feels so inclined is more than welcome to
tag along, there's always room for 1 more.

Which brings me to Phil. Where do I start? I'm sorry for trying to run you
down in the landing area, but it was worth it to see how big your eyes could
get before you dove for cover. Sorry I ran into your way on another landing
trying to high-five you, but again it was worth it to see your head come
poking out from underneath my canopy after another near-miss. Sorry about
the near canopy collision, perhaps going for 3 more points after everybody
else broke off was one too many. Lets stick to two in the future. Thanks for
the morning coffee, the meals, the laughs, the Baileys, but as for the
VSOP....... my best advice would be to use it to clean paint brushes, it's
simply not fit for human consumption.

I will be returning to Summerfest next year, ready to party, and jump my
Butt off. And armed. Those bastards with the water balloons manning The
Gauntlet are going to be in for surprise.

Crazy Larry
Although many Skydivers were harmed in the activities that these emails were
based on, none of the injuries are permanent, and for the first time in a
long time nobody who was playing with me got broke. The curse is lifted. I'm
once again safe to vacation with.

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