Change of address notice

Change of address notice

For the next 11 days in case of emergency I can be reached by leaving a
message with the bartender at:

The Bent Prop Saloon
C/O Skydive Arizona
4900 N Taylor Rd.
Attn: Crazy Larry

Well here I am, safe and sound. (Again, a relative term)
The flight wasn't too bad. The first half was fine, but during the second
half my seatmates began to debate the impact of existentialism and geist and
zeitgeist upon the interrelationship of the masculine and feminine equation
and how that impacted the influence of ancient Greek mythology upon modern
society, coupled with the influence of estrogen and testosterone ...........

I have discovered the real reason they search people for weapons before
packing them inside a big metal tube like sardines and sending them across
the continent. Because if I'd had a weapon I'd have used one. The only
difficult part would've been trying to decide whose throat to cut, theirs or
my own.

I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. I
boasted/claimed that I would be "in the air by mid-afternoon". As it turned
out, I arrived on the grounds of Skydive Arizona at exactly 3:27 P.M. I know
this because the very first words I heard upon my arrival were "You're
Late!". That statement was delivered by a well respected individual (in some
circles), who has achieved some minor note in the skydiving world as a
videographer of a certain group of individuals best known for being named
after a bunch of badly dressed used-car salesmen, and who shall remain
unidentified.

While changing planes in Toronto, I ran into a disreputable individual by
the name of Paul Cincinnatto. He subsequently kidnapped me and very much
against my will forced me to accompany him to some god forsaken place in the
middle of the desert (that I happened to be going to anyway) and it's all
his fault I was late. That is not true of course, but since Tim isn't here
yet I have to blame it on someone. Well, parts of it are true, but it's a
little early in the game to start taking the blame for anything myself.

Immediately after that I met my ex, (who isn't really my ex, and if you
really want to know what that's all about you need to contact Heather in
Winnipeg) Dianne Beergirlblondebluecrazy, and since I didn't have any beer
with me she declared the love affair over for good. Sigh. Crushed again.
I don't actually expect that any of the above will make sense to any normal,
well adjusted individuals, which is why I'm sending it to you.

I did manage to get in one Skydive today before they shut things down a
whole hour and ten minutes before sunset. A two point fifteen way, during
which I Did My Part, I Flew My Slot, and I Had A Good Skydive. And according
to a videographer of some minor note who shall continue to remain
unidentified, my performance on that skydive "Did Not Suck". Not that his
opinion is worth anything. But he does have good taste in fine liquor and
finer women. I have pictures to prove it.

The Winnipeg crew had some tunnel time last night so I did everything I
could to encourage them to consume as much beer as possible before they went
in. I felt it was the least I could do. It didn't seem to phase Diane at
all, and in fact her solo flying in the tunnel was fantastic. Fast, precise
turns, level changes and side slides done with complete control. Now if she
could just remember what the skydive is she could really go somewhere.
All in all, the Invasion is off to a good start. The sun is shining, I'm
jumping, and there's no snow.

Larry