The Best Show In Las Vegas

Las Vegas is legendary for it's shows, everything from Wayne Newton, Celine Dion, Tom Jones, Penn and Teller, a whole string of magic acts, Cirque Du Soleil, to the constant never ending trapeze acts over the gambling floor at the Circus Circus. But today, the best show in town, without a doubt, was watching me maneuver a 32 foot motor home and 12 foot trailer down Las Vegas Boulevard.

It seemed like a simple proposition, there were only a few turns to negotiate once I left the Boulder Highway to get to the conveniently located RV park right behind the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino, within a stones throw of the strip. I had the route programmed into my GPS, I'd looked it up on Mapquest to familiarize myself with it as much as possible, I even checked Google Earth so I'd know what the entrance looked like so I wouldn't have any trouble recognizing it. What I hadn't counted on was that the RV park was no longer operated by the KOA chain, and that their sign had come down resulting in me overshooting the entrance. That led to me and my 44 foot train weaving all over a whole series of streets with up to 5 lanes of traffic going each direction as I tried to circle back to the hotel.

I wound up back on the strip going the wrong direction once more overshooting the street I wanted at another congested intersection when I spotted my solution ahead of me at the next intersection. It was a sign showing the 3 left hand lanes turning left, with the leftmost lane getting the OK to do a U-turn. Perfect! All I had to do was make a quick U-turn and I'd be right back where I needed to be.

I now know the answer to the age-old question about just how much room it takes to make a U-turn with a 32 foot motor home and 12 foot trailer on Las Vegas Boulevard. The answer is: More Room Than I Had.

I made it about 3/4 of the way around before I realized I was in trouble, but by then it was way way way to late to just do a left turn and continue circling the neighborhood. I ground to a halt firmly planted sideways across the road, completely blocking the busiest street in the city. I started to quickly back up to try and cut the angle, wriggling the whole thing back and forth, resulting in the trailer jack-knifing to a right angle with the RV just as the light turned green and the traffic started on the cross street, resulting in total gridlock in every direction. I don't know if they spotted it on traffic cameras or if it was the several hundred horns blaring that alerted them but the first Cop was there within a minute.

He strolled up to the window, politely tapped on it to let me know he was there, and when I rolled it down he congratulated me on my optimism, questioned my sanity, and expressed surprise that it wasn't somebody considerable older or younger that would attempt such a boneheaded move. After I assured him that I was sober, the rest of the cops who had come to see what all the commotion was about cleared enough room for me to maneuver, and the first Cop guided me around the turn. The entire process from beginning to end took 6-7 minutes, with me expecting to see news cameras show up any second.

Once I'd finally cleared the intersection he had me pull over to the side, and after the ritual of checking drivers licence, registration, proof of insurance, he asked me where I was trying to go. He must have been afraid I might repeat the stunt, which is why I arrived at the entrance to the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino RV Park with a police escort.

I didn't offer an explanation to the guys at check in who had clearly seen me get led in, nor did they ask for one, in fact they seemed to consider it normal. This is Las Vegas after all.

I'm safely installed in Slot 82 with the slides out, plumbing and electrical hooked up, and the bar is open.