"Define Normal" is written on a popular Skydiving t-shirt.
According to Ellen Goodman, "Normal is getting dressed in clothes you buy
for work and driving through traffic in a car you are still paying for, in
order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes, the car, and the
house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."
So, I guess I'm back to normal.
Epilogue
It's Tuesday, and I just spent my first day at work in just over 4 weeks.
One of the kids who used to work for me coined the phrase "Yippee it's
Tuesday!" It makes reference to the fact that every Tuesday we get our
shipment from Home Hardware. First we unload it all, then we sort, price,
and put it all away. My job is sorting and pricing. Every Tuesday for the
last 20 years I've stood in the same spot in front of a large table, slicing
open box after box after box, sorting and tagging whatever I find within.
The only time I move more than a couple of feet from my spot it's to fetch
another box. My version of "Normal".
The party is over, the travelling is done, it's time for reality to intrude
once again into the continuous party known as "Crazy Larry's Excellent
Adventure". I've accomplished much in the last few weeks. I travelled from
Ottawa Ontario to Ottawa Illinois, to Burnaby, to Montreal, to Newfoundland,
and back to Montreal again. I started with a fast ride through The Park,
then Dan's Stag, Nathalie's deck is finally painted, I've been to Summerfest
(all too briefly but I was there) helped set a new Canadian POPS Record, was
part of a Team that earned that long-sought Nationals medal in 4-way that
for so many years seemed out of reach, Camped with Doug Forth and 34 of my
friends, made it to The Rock for Dan and Cheryl's wedding, and Nathalie and
I finished it off with a 2 day tour on 2 wheels.
I did some smuggling, some snuggling, some partying, some packing, danced
like nobody was watching (okay, I danced and hoped nobody was watching),
drove fast and took chances, flew, frapped, flopped, and even flopped around
a few times, although the new medication seems to have that under control.
Got scraped, scratched, bruised and beaten, and more than a few people tried
to kill me, but that was mostly unintentional.
To all those who have joined me for parts of this summers adventure,
thank-you. To those who have lived vicariously through these emails, you're
welcome. Having somebody else along for the ride just increases the fun.
(According to Garth people look forward to receiving these updates out of a
sense of morbid curiosity.)
To all the people who have supported Nathalie and Debbie in their pursuit of
Jump For The Cause by buying a calendar or making a donation, thank you.
When I walked into Mile High last Wednesday with an arm load of calendars,
not a single person said no, and I sold every one I brought. Nathalie was
blown away by the generosity of people who are in many cases strangers. If
there is anybody I missed who would like one, I'll have some at work, just
drop by and I'll fix you up.
People keep telling me I should be a writer, and it is something I've always
wanted to do. Here's the way I see it. I wrote this, you read it. As far as
I'm concerned, I am a writer. Thanks for reading.
There's another popular skydiving t-shirt that asks the question "Why Be
Normal?"
Good question.
Crazy Larry
I'm now living the life that everybody imagined they would have when they retired. If they had one hell of an imagination.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
"We'll rant and we'll roar like true Newfoundlanders...."
"We'll rant and we'll roar on deck and below......
Until we strikes bottom beside the two sunkers........
And straight through the channel to Taslow we'll go....."
I don't know what the last two lines mean, but the first two are claiming
that nobody can party like a Newfie. After what I've been through since my
arrival I wouldn't argue.
It's now my third day here, and I've spent most of my time in one bar or
another, and every one of them has had a view of the harbor. They even
served wine at the church 'though you had to line up to get some, and it
also had a view of the harbor.
Dan, Casey and I took Harley for a walk up Signal Hill yesterday morning
before the ceremony, and while Dan was putting the dog back into the truck
he said "Larry, I need a favor." Out of reflex I replied " No problem buddy.
I've got my Gold card, we can be in Vegas in 7 hours, and she'll never find
you". And realized Dan was holding out a tie and gazing at me with a strange
look on his face. All he wanted was some help dressing the dog. Shirt, tie,
and bowler hat. Normally at a wedding the most photographed person is the
bride, but this time it was the dog. At the church tourists were even coming
in off the road to take pictures.
The ceremony went pretty much as planned, we didn't wear the bright yellow
Sou' westers after all when somebody pointed out you're supposed to take your
hat off in church.
The person who cried the most wasn't the bride, or her mother, or one of the
bridesmaids. As Cheryl made her way towards the altar J.C. whispered "He's
crying!" I turned to see Dan, who I've come to think of as one of the
mentally and physically toughest people I know, with tears running down his
cheeks. Dan, I told you, 7 hours and we're in Vegas man!
One of the bridesmaids gave Dan some Kleenex, and when he used it up the
priest gave him more. So much for the tough guy. All it took to take him
down was a beautiful woman in a white dress.
The only glitch was when we started the procession back down the aisle. The
priest who had guided us through the rehearsal the day before was just
filling in for the guy who actually performed the ceremony. The fill-in was
much younger, and thought the electric guitar bit was a great idea. Nobody
thought to check with Father English, who performed the ceremony. When "Ode
To Joy" suddenly turned into something that sounded more like "Jimmy Page
Live" it looked like the quiet, soft-spoken man who had performed the
ceremony was getting ready to call for Hell-Fire and Damnation to descend
upon the guitarist. It would have been pretty funny if we were standing at a
safer distance.
The wedding is over, the paperwork signed, pictures taken, and it's
official: there is now a new Mrs. Whitman.
We had a lot of fun with the hats and the bottles of Screech, and they both
figured prominently in the wedding pictures. The bridesmaids were
complaining of thirst so J.C. ran across the street to a convenience store
for a couple of 8-packs of beer (it seems that in Newfoundland 6-packs
aren't quite big enough), which led to us standing around in tuxes and
formal wear drinking beer in the parking lot of Government house, which was
our first stop for pictures.
The reception was pretty standard. Until they brought out a dead fish and
performed a ceremony called "Getting Screeched In". You kiss the dead fish,
drink a shot of Screech, recite something that means something only to a
Newfoundlander but sounds pretty rude, and we were inducted into "The Royal
Order Of Screechers". The whole wedding party are now honorable Newfies.
And the peasants rejoiced. And partied, and drank, and danced, and drank
some more, and admired the view of the harbor.
Saturday afternoon Alex took me and the bridesmaids out to Cape Spear for
some much needed fresh air, and as a bonus we got to do some whale watching
before Casey and Cheryl ran me out to the airport so I could return home. It
was the longest stretch since I arrived here where I've been conscious and
didn't have any alcohol. I intend to return to The Rock someday, but I'm
going to spend a little more time doing the tourist thing, and a little less
time in bars.
End of Chapter 5
Until we strikes bottom beside the two sunkers........
And straight through the channel to Taslow we'll go....."
I don't know what the last two lines mean, but the first two are claiming
that nobody can party like a Newfie. After what I've been through since my
arrival I wouldn't argue.
It's now my third day here, and I've spent most of my time in one bar or
another, and every one of them has had a view of the harbor. They even
served wine at the church 'though you had to line up to get some, and it
also had a view of the harbor.
Dan, Casey and I took Harley for a walk up Signal Hill yesterday morning
before the ceremony, and while Dan was putting the dog back into the truck
he said "Larry, I need a favor." Out of reflex I replied " No problem buddy.
I've got my Gold card, we can be in Vegas in 7 hours, and she'll never find
you". And realized Dan was holding out a tie and gazing at me with a strange
look on his face. All he wanted was some help dressing the dog. Shirt, tie,
and bowler hat. Normally at a wedding the most photographed person is the
bride, but this time it was the dog. At the church tourists were even coming
in off the road to take pictures.
The ceremony went pretty much as planned, we didn't wear the bright yellow
Sou' westers after all when somebody pointed out you're supposed to take your
hat off in church.
The person who cried the most wasn't the bride, or her mother, or one of the
bridesmaids. As Cheryl made her way towards the altar J.C. whispered "He's
crying!" I turned to see Dan, who I've come to think of as one of the
mentally and physically toughest people I know, with tears running down his
cheeks. Dan, I told you, 7 hours and we're in Vegas man!
One of the bridesmaids gave Dan some Kleenex, and when he used it up the
priest gave him more. So much for the tough guy. All it took to take him
down was a beautiful woman in a white dress.
The only glitch was when we started the procession back down the aisle. The
priest who had guided us through the rehearsal the day before was just
filling in for the guy who actually performed the ceremony. The fill-in was
much younger, and thought the electric guitar bit was a great idea. Nobody
thought to check with Father English, who performed the ceremony. When "Ode
To Joy" suddenly turned into something that sounded more like "Jimmy Page
Live" it looked like the quiet, soft-spoken man who had performed the
ceremony was getting ready to call for Hell-Fire and Damnation to descend
upon the guitarist. It would have been pretty funny if we were standing at a
safer distance.
The wedding is over, the paperwork signed, pictures taken, and it's
official: there is now a new Mrs. Whitman.
We had a lot of fun with the hats and the bottles of Screech, and they both
figured prominently in the wedding pictures. The bridesmaids were
complaining of thirst so J.C. ran across the street to a convenience store
for a couple of 8-packs of beer (it seems that in Newfoundland 6-packs
aren't quite big enough), which led to us standing around in tuxes and
formal wear drinking beer in the parking lot of Government house, which was
our first stop for pictures.
The reception was pretty standard. Until they brought out a dead fish and
performed a ceremony called "Getting Screeched In". You kiss the dead fish,
drink a shot of Screech, recite something that means something only to a
Newfoundlander but sounds pretty rude, and we were inducted into "The Royal
Order Of Screechers". The whole wedding party are now honorable Newfies.
And the peasants rejoiced. And partied, and drank, and danced, and drank
some more, and admired the view of the harbor.
Saturday afternoon Alex took me and the bridesmaids out to Cape Spear for
some much needed fresh air, and as a bonus we got to do some whale watching
before Casey and Cheryl ran me out to the airport so I could return home. It
was the longest stretch since I arrived here where I've been conscious and
didn't have any alcohol. I intend to return to The Rock someday, but I'm
going to spend a little more time doing the tourist thing, and a little less
time in bars.
End of Chapter 5
Monday, August 10, 2009
"Lightning is God's Beer Light"
"Lightning is God's Beer Light"
That's what Beer Girl said to me as we passed each other outside manifest
after the storm that shut us down Sunday had passed. The Beer Light is what
is turned on at a Drop Zone to signify that jumping is officially over for
the day and that we can now move on to the next stage: drinking. Open
containers of alcohol are strictly forbidden at most operations until
jumping has finished for the day. The Beer Light itself takes many forms. At
some DZ's it's a simple light bulb in a designated spot. If they get fancy
they might put it on top of a building so it can be seen from anywhere in
the DZ. At my home DZ it's a child's toy hard hat equipped with batteries
and a strobe. When we're done jumping, the kid puts it on and runs around
the Drop Zone letting everybody know it's time for the partying to commence.
Yeah you're right, not exactly normal, but as a relative thing how much fun
do normal people have?
We got 2 jumps in on Sunday. The first one went well, I was a second row
diver coming out of the trail plane and got to chase the base across the sky
to get to my slot. As usual Rhonda flashed past me every time to get there
in half the time it took me. At the start of the camp she said she needed to
practice being a late diver, but from what I could see she has that job
pretty much nailed.
At least I Didn't have to worry about John Smith. On the jumps the day
before he was where he was supposed to be, above and offset from the base
looking back up the line of flight. I never give a thought to the cameraman
because he's the guy who is always safely out of the way, hovering above the
burble. But he might not as safe as he thinks he is if I'm a floater coming
out of the trail plane and he's looking down at what he's videoing like he's
supposed to, not up and behind him where nobody should be. But a couple of
times when I launched from the trail plane I tracked up, not over, and found
myself having to dive back down to get to my slot, straight towards an
unsuspecting John Smith. The first time I saw him I thought he was just
another skydiver and moving in the same general direction I was. It wasn't
until I was about 20 feet away and closing fast that I realized he was
stationary and I had to shear off to the side to keep from hitting him. You
can get away with a lot of stupid mistakes at a camp, it's looked upon as
the place to make mistakes and learn, but I'm pretty sure that taking out
the cameraman would qualify as a cardinal sin. Doug wouldn't settle for just
fining me a few cases of Beer, and there wouldn't be enough Single Malt
Scotch in Ontario to be able to apologize to John. Besides, he's from out
west and probably has guns. It didn't go unnoticed though. After landing,
while I was talking to Rhonda, John came up and asked her if he was in the
way of traffic coming over from the chase plane to join the formation. "Not
at all" said Rhonda, "nobody should be anywhere near you." The next time I
found myself above and behind John I gave him a wide berth as I passed.
There is a sequence of "calls" before made before a load so that everybody
knows when they need to be ready. A 20 minute call, a 15 minute call, a 5
minute gear up call, and finally a gear up and go call 'cause the plane is
waiting. For our second jump on Sunday a layer of high cloud started to move
in, but Doug didn't want to lose our momentum so he put us on a "Gear up and
Wait" call. That's a new one. Apparently it means pull on your jumpsuit,
strap on your rig, gloves, and altimeter, then stand around in oppressive
heat and humidity soaking in sweat and wait to see what happens. I'm hoping
it's not a new big-way skydiving technique that I'll be encountering
regularly in the future.
Our second jump on Sunday also went well, on our side that is. Except for a
hard dock on our side that sent a wave through the formation that produced
an effect similar to "cracking the whip" on skates when we were kids. The
people in the middle don't have to worry, they just ride it out. But there
were a couple poor sods on the other side who didn't have someone holding
onto them for them to pass the kinetic energy on to, and consequently when
the wave got to them they got cracked off and sent across the sky. But our
side was fine and that's all that really matters. To me anyway.
That is, we were fine until break off. We all got safely away from the
formation at our assigned altitude with me once again winning the tracking
lottery and heading towards the airport, but as I tracked I noticed a huge,
very low, almost fog-like bank of cloud that seemed to be rolling in from
the lake and was quickly covering the airport. The airport was directly
below me and that seemed to be where the cloud was thinnest so I was able to
quickly spiral down and land, but not everyone was as lucky. By the time the
people who had tracked away from the airport flew back the cloud had
thickened and they had to descend where they thought the airport was. It was
scary enough standing on the ground watching canopies suddenly materialize a
couple hundred feet above, I'm awfully glad I wasn't one of the ones who
sank into that cloud only to see the canopies around me vanish, not being
able to see if anybody decided to turn, or exactly where the many obstacles
in the area were. Everybody landed safely, but unless and until the weather
stabilized we were grounded.
Despite the problems landing, Josee was wearing a grin every bit as big as
the one she had when we took the Bronze. She had wanted to try diving and
wound up seated at the very front of the plane across from Philippe. That's
a tough slot, and only the best can pull it off. No matter how tight things
are jammed up at the door of the plane, in the time it takes to sprint to
the door and throw themselves out the last divers can find the base has
traveled a couple hundred yards and is still accelerating, pulling away
from them. They have the longest distance to go, and have to be extremely
careful they don't overshoot and wind up low. On the video I could see Josee
and Philippe make their slots in excellent time, arriving before some of the
people who had been out the door ahead of them. "That was the Best Skydive I
ever had!" She declared, and the grin confirmed it.
We were debriefing when Manifest called over the PA that "There is a furious
rainstorm expected in the next few minutes, everybody roll up their car
windows" Not 'It's gonna rain", not even "It's gonna rain hard', it was
gonna rain furiously. There was a sudden surge towards the exits with
panicked shouts along the lines of "Screw the windows - my GEAR is outside!"
The picnic tables outside were covered in rigs, cameras, laptops and other
expensive toys all just piled up like rubble.
We had everything under cover in no time flat, and when the rain started it
was indeed, furious. And loud. Most of us were in the hangar and it made so
much noise hitting the steel roof that we had to shout at each other to be
heard.
That was it, we were done for the day, the camp, and the boogie.
The POPS record the Nationals and the Big-Way camp were all (major) injury
free, me and most of my friends got at least one shiny thing on a ribbon
hung around our necks, we all learned some stuff at the camp and while
competing - in some cases about about skydiving, and in some cases about
ourselves. It was a lot of fun, but after 17 days of living out of my truck
I was glad to be on my way home.
On a sad note Tana Nash, formerly of Stratosphere, announced she has sold
her gear and will be leaving the sport. She has met all her challenges and
achieved all her goals. Stratosphere adopted the team I was on in Farnham in
2005, to guide and encourage us through a difficult competition, spending
more time prepping our dives than their own, even as they were defending
their National title. She'll still show up at Burnaby from time to time, but
Nationals will never be the same without her and Rocky coming over, shaking
their heads, saying "Okay, let us show you the way you're supposed to do
that."
Nathalie has expressed concern that perhaps what made the team so ill was
Swine Flu, so I looked up the symptoms on the internet.
"Symptoms include fever, cough, runny nose, sore throat, fatigue, body
aches, loss of appetite, and an uncontrollable urge to fuck in the mud."
Nope. I never once lost my appetite.
There's another Nationals in 2011 and I expect we'll probably be there,
"Once more into the breach my friends". And there's been a challenge made.
Of sorts. Aidan Waters of Tropical Fish and I were talking before 4-way
started and he said "I hope you kick Evolutions Ass! And then we'll kick
yours!" We shared a laugh at the time, but that was before the Cinderella
story came true and we took third place. Aidan, we made a 9 average while
most of the team was sick as dogs and with a total of only 28 training
jumps. At the next Nationals if you feel someone breathing down your neck,
or nipping at your heels, don't be surprised if you look over your shoulder
and find us there. We'll be back. And we've got two years to practice.
I was about to send this email when I received a text message from Diane
Beer Girl Blonde Blue Crazy. She and Johnny Larue were supposed to fly out
Monday afternoon, but instead they have eloped, and are at Niagara Falls
with John Smith who is the official Wedding Photographer. I wonder if they
told Johnny's wife yet?
End of Chapter 4
Next: Wedding Bells on The Rock
That's what Beer Girl said to me as we passed each other outside manifest
after the storm that shut us down Sunday had passed. The Beer Light is what
is turned on at a Drop Zone to signify that jumping is officially over for
the day and that we can now move on to the next stage: drinking. Open
containers of alcohol are strictly forbidden at most operations until
jumping has finished for the day. The Beer Light itself takes many forms. At
some DZ's it's a simple light bulb in a designated spot. If they get fancy
they might put it on top of a building so it can be seen from anywhere in
the DZ. At my home DZ it's a child's toy hard hat equipped with batteries
and a strobe. When we're done jumping, the kid puts it on and runs around
the Drop Zone letting everybody know it's time for the partying to commence.
Yeah you're right, not exactly normal, but as a relative thing how much fun
do normal people have?
We got 2 jumps in on Sunday. The first one went well, I was a second row
diver coming out of the trail plane and got to chase the base across the sky
to get to my slot. As usual Rhonda flashed past me every time to get there
in half the time it took me. At the start of the camp she said she needed to
practice being a late diver, but from what I could see she has that job
pretty much nailed.
At least I Didn't have to worry about John Smith. On the jumps the day
before he was where he was supposed to be, above and offset from the base
looking back up the line of flight. I never give a thought to the cameraman
because he's the guy who is always safely out of the way, hovering above the
burble. But he might not as safe as he thinks he is if I'm a floater coming
out of the trail plane and he's looking down at what he's videoing like he's
supposed to, not up and behind him where nobody should be. But a couple of
times when I launched from the trail plane I tracked up, not over, and found
myself having to dive back down to get to my slot, straight towards an
unsuspecting John Smith. The first time I saw him I thought he was just
another skydiver and moving in the same general direction I was. It wasn't
until I was about 20 feet away and closing fast that I realized he was
stationary and I had to shear off to the side to keep from hitting him. You
can get away with a lot of stupid mistakes at a camp, it's looked upon as
the place to make mistakes and learn, but I'm pretty sure that taking out
the cameraman would qualify as a cardinal sin. Doug wouldn't settle for just
fining me a few cases of Beer, and there wouldn't be enough Single Malt
Scotch in Ontario to be able to apologize to John. Besides, he's from out
west and probably has guns. It didn't go unnoticed though. After landing,
while I was talking to Rhonda, John came up and asked her if he was in the
way of traffic coming over from the chase plane to join the formation. "Not
at all" said Rhonda, "nobody should be anywhere near you." The next time I
found myself above and behind John I gave him a wide berth as I passed.
There is a sequence of "calls" before made before a load so that everybody
knows when they need to be ready. A 20 minute call, a 15 minute call, a 5
minute gear up call, and finally a gear up and go call 'cause the plane is
waiting. For our second jump on Sunday a layer of high cloud started to move
in, but Doug didn't want to lose our momentum so he put us on a "Gear up and
Wait" call. That's a new one. Apparently it means pull on your jumpsuit,
strap on your rig, gloves, and altimeter, then stand around in oppressive
heat and humidity soaking in sweat and wait to see what happens. I'm hoping
it's not a new big-way skydiving technique that I'll be encountering
regularly in the future.
Our second jump on Sunday also went well, on our side that is. Except for a
hard dock on our side that sent a wave through the formation that produced
an effect similar to "cracking the whip" on skates when we were kids. The
people in the middle don't have to worry, they just ride it out. But there
were a couple poor sods on the other side who didn't have someone holding
onto them for them to pass the kinetic energy on to, and consequently when
the wave got to them they got cracked off and sent across the sky. But our
side was fine and that's all that really matters. To me anyway.
That is, we were fine until break off. We all got safely away from the
formation at our assigned altitude with me once again winning the tracking
lottery and heading towards the airport, but as I tracked I noticed a huge,
very low, almost fog-like bank of cloud that seemed to be rolling in from
the lake and was quickly covering the airport. The airport was directly
below me and that seemed to be where the cloud was thinnest so I was able to
quickly spiral down and land, but not everyone was as lucky. By the time the
people who had tracked away from the airport flew back the cloud had
thickened and they had to descend where they thought the airport was. It was
scary enough standing on the ground watching canopies suddenly materialize a
couple hundred feet above, I'm awfully glad I wasn't one of the ones who
sank into that cloud only to see the canopies around me vanish, not being
able to see if anybody decided to turn, or exactly where the many obstacles
in the area were. Everybody landed safely, but unless and until the weather
stabilized we were grounded.
Despite the problems landing, Josee was wearing a grin every bit as big as
the one she had when we took the Bronze. She had wanted to try diving and
wound up seated at the very front of the plane across from Philippe. That's
a tough slot, and only the best can pull it off. No matter how tight things
are jammed up at the door of the plane, in the time it takes to sprint to
the door and throw themselves out the last divers can find the base has
traveled a couple hundred yards and is still accelerating, pulling away
from them. They have the longest distance to go, and have to be extremely
careful they don't overshoot and wind up low. On the video I could see Josee
and Philippe make their slots in excellent time, arriving before some of the
people who had been out the door ahead of them. "That was the Best Skydive I
ever had!" She declared, and the grin confirmed it.
We were debriefing when Manifest called over the PA that "There is a furious
rainstorm expected in the next few minutes, everybody roll up their car
windows" Not 'It's gonna rain", not even "It's gonna rain hard', it was
gonna rain furiously. There was a sudden surge towards the exits with
panicked shouts along the lines of "Screw the windows - my GEAR is outside!"
The picnic tables outside were covered in rigs, cameras, laptops and other
expensive toys all just piled up like rubble.
We had everything under cover in no time flat, and when the rain started it
was indeed, furious. And loud. Most of us were in the hangar and it made so
much noise hitting the steel roof that we had to shout at each other to be
heard.
That was it, we were done for the day, the camp, and the boogie.
The POPS record the Nationals and the Big-Way camp were all (major) injury
free, me and most of my friends got at least one shiny thing on a ribbon
hung around our necks, we all learned some stuff at the camp and while
competing - in some cases about about skydiving, and in some cases about
ourselves. It was a lot of fun, but after 17 days of living out of my truck
I was glad to be on my way home.
On a sad note Tana Nash, formerly of Stratosphere, announced she has sold
her gear and will be leaving the sport. She has met all her challenges and
achieved all her goals. Stratosphere adopted the team I was on in Farnham in
2005, to guide and encourage us through a difficult competition, spending
more time prepping our dives than their own, even as they were defending
their National title. She'll still show up at Burnaby from time to time, but
Nationals will never be the same without her and Rocky coming over, shaking
their heads, saying "Okay, let us show you the way you're supposed to do
that."
Nathalie has expressed concern that perhaps what made the team so ill was
Swine Flu, so I looked up the symptoms on the internet.
"Symptoms include fever, cough, runny nose, sore throat, fatigue, body
aches, loss of appetite, and an uncontrollable urge to fuck in the mud."
Nope. I never once lost my appetite.
There's another Nationals in 2011 and I expect we'll probably be there,
"Once more into the breach my friends". And there's been a challenge made.
Of sorts. Aidan Waters of Tropical Fish and I were talking before 4-way
started and he said "I hope you kick Evolutions Ass! And then we'll kick
yours!" We shared a laugh at the time, but that was before the Cinderella
story came true and we took third place. Aidan, we made a 9 average while
most of the team was sick as dogs and with a total of only 28 training
jumps. At the next Nationals if you feel someone breathing down your neck,
or nipping at your heels, don't be surprised if you look over your shoulder
and find us there. We'll be back. And we've got two years to practice.
I was about to send this email when I received a text message from Diane
Beer Girl Blonde Blue Crazy. She and Johnny Larue were supposed to fly out
Monday afternoon, but instead they have eloped, and are at Niagara Falls
with John Smith who is the official Wedding Photographer. I wonder if they
told Johnny's wife yet?
End of Chapter 4
Next: Wedding Bells on The Rock
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Don't Look Away........
"Don't look away from the center of the formation.
When you look away from the center, bad shit happens"
Doug Forth
Chapter 4
40-Way Skills Camp with Doug Forth
There's a phenomenon in weather forecasting called "The Lake Effect". It
refers to the effect a large body of water such as one of the Great Lakes
has on weather systems, influencing the way the system moves. At Mile High,
my home drop zone, there is a reservoir that wraps around 2 sides of the
airport and we are often getting out of the plane over top of it. It's not a
problem, we're wearing Aqua Buoy flotation gear, and while the reservoir
isn't small, if necessary you can turn and run with the wind and make the
far side easily. But unless you start at around 100,000 feet you don't have
a hope in hell of making the far side of Lake Erie. Lake Erie is only a mile
or so from the Burnaby airport and because of prevailing winds we usually
take jump run towards the water. For the purposes of skydiving The Lake
Effect is what happens at break off when somebody loses the tracking lottery
and realizes they're tracking away from the formation and out over the
lake. In any large formation, say 20 or more, you're going to have at least
4 or 5 people who are over or headed towards the water. The immediate
reaction when you realize this generally to panic. People either change
direction across someone else path, ignoring most of the rules of safe
separation and good manners, or to immediately dump in place, thereby
breaking the rest of the rules of safe separation and ignoring the fact that
there are probably people tracking behind them.
My first experience with The Lake Effect was at the warm-ups for the
Canadian Record in 2006. At break off I looked back between my feet to see
canopies suddenly coming out all over the place, a good two thousand feet
higher than they should, and realized that all I could see below, behind,
and to both sides was water. I snapped my head forward and there was LAND! I
was the only one to make the airport, and we spent the next hour picking
people up from where they'd landed in various back yards, on roads, and a
few from the beach.
It will be interesting to see what happens with this camp. There are a lot
of low experience people here, climb outs will be long, extending the spot
further towards the water, and "The Lake Effect"
I wrote the above the day before yesterday. I know what's coming..
Weeeeee!
Friday morning started dull and early. The day was early, I was dull.
Doug appointed Beth as Beer Cop and started handing out fines as soon as the
briefing started to people who showed up late. The Beer Cop records the
fines and ensures that the Beer is paid. Drop Zones run on Beer. Beer is the
Nectar of Knowledge: at the end of the day when you stand around drinking
and telling stories is when a lot of learning takes place. I stepped forward
when Doug asked for a 6-way base so I could put on my new weight belt and
see just how fast I can go. As soon as he asked for someone to take his leg
grip Beer Girl dove in with a big grin on her face, cutting several other
girls off to be the one holding Doug's butt.
I was sitting by the door and I knew for sure it was going to be a good day
when the other Otter pulled up beside us as we climbed and the female
copilot flashed us. Beth was leaving with Nick, who usually does freefly,
and when he left he wound up in front of her on his head, not flat like he
should have been. Beth started yelling (which is pointless because contrary
to what Keannu Reeves and Patrick Swayze claim you can't talk in freefall)
"Nick! This is Formation Skydiving,
not head down!" He quickly corrected himself so maybe he heard her after
all.
I spent all my free time between jumps harassing people into buying
calendars. There were only two acceptable replies. "I've already bought
one", or "Here's $20 now Leave Me Alone!". I have no shame. It was at the
point where people would see me coming and turn around and head the other
way.
We did six mostly successful skydives and learned lots - things to do and
things NOT to do.
On Saturday we started early and I was leaving as a floater from outside the
trail plane. On the first exit Shelly didn't launch far enough, and I went
out too far and wound up rodeoing her as we fell perfectly stable for a
couple of seconds before I gently pushed her down and forward, sliding out
from between her legs and into clean air. The dive went well, for our side
at least, the other side had somebody land on it resulting in about half a
dozen people getting funneled. At break off I drifted over too far and wound
up rodeoing Josee, so I got to start and finish the Skydive riding a girl.
There have been a few fines handed out but for the most part people have
been well behaved and the skydives haven't been scary.
We're done for the day and will be going to the Banquet tonight to collect
the rest of our awards.
When you look away from the center, bad shit happens"
Doug Forth
Chapter 4
40-Way Skills Camp with Doug Forth
There's a phenomenon in weather forecasting called "The Lake Effect". It
refers to the effect a large body of water such as one of the Great Lakes
has on weather systems, influencing the way the system moves. At Mile High,
my home drop zone, there is a reservoir that wraps around 2 sides of the
airport and we are often getting out of the plane over top of it. It's not a
problem, we're wearing Aqua Buoy flotation gear, and while the reservoir
isn't small, if necessary you can turn and run with the wind and make the
far side easily. But unless you start at around 100,000 feet you don't have
a hope in hell of making the far side of Lake Erie. Lake Erie is only a mile
or so from the Burnaby airport and because of prevailing winds we usually
take jump run towards the water. For the purposes of skydiving The Lake
Effect is what happens at break off when somebody loses the tracking lottery
and realizes they're tracking away from the formation and out over the
lake. In any large formation, say 20 or more, you're going to have at least
4 or 5 people who are over or headed towards the water. The immediate
reaction when you realize this generally to panic. People either change
direction across someone else path, ignoring most of the rules of safe
separation and good manners, or to immediately dump in place, thereby
breaking the rest of the rules of safe separation and ignoring the fact that
there are probably people tracking behind them.
My first experience with The Lake Effect was at the warm-ups for the
Canadian Record in 2006. At break off I looked back between my feet to see
canopies suddenly coming out all over the place, a good two thousand feet
higher than they should, and realized that all I could see below, behind,
and to both sides was water. I snapped my head forward and there was LAND! I
was the only one to make the airport, and we spent the next hour picking
people up from where they'd landed in various back yards, on roads, and a
few from the beach.
It will be interesting to see what happens with this camp. There are a lot
of low experience people here, climb outs will be long, extending the spot
further towards the water, and "The Lake Effect"
I wrote the above the day before yesterday. I know what's coming..
Weeeeee!
Friday morning started dull and early. The day was early, I was dull.
Doug appointed Beth as Beer Cop and started handing out fines as soon as the
briefing started to people who showed up late. The Beer Cop records the
fines and ensures that the Beer is paid. Drop Zones run on Beer. Beer is the
Nectar of Knowledge: at the end of the day when you stand around drinking
and telling stories is when a lot of learning takes place. I stepped forward
when Doug asked for a 6-way base so I could put on my new weight belt and
see just how fast I can go. As soon as he asked for someone to take his leg
grip Beer Girl dove in with a big grin on her face, cutting several other
girls off to be the one holding Doug's butt.
I was sitting by the door and I knew for sure it was going to be a good day
when the other Otter pulled up beside us as we climbed and the female
copilot flashed us. Beth was leaving with Nick, who usually does freefly,
and when he left he wound up in front of her on his head, not flat like he
should have been. Beth started yelling (which is pointless because contrary
to what Keannu Reeves and Patrick Swayze claim you can't talk in freefall)
"Nick! This is Formation Skydiving,
not head down!" He quickly corrected himself so maybe he heard her after
all.
I spent all my free time between jumps harassing people into buying
calendars. There were only two acceptable replies. "I've already bought
one", or "Here's $20 now Leave Me Alone!". I have no shame. It was at the
point where people would see me coming and turn around and head the other
way.
We did six mostly successful skydives and learned lots - things to do and
things NOT to do.
On Saturday we started early and I was leaving as a floater from outside the
trail plane. On the first exit Shelly didn't launch far enough, and I went
out too far and wound up rodeoing her as we fell perfectly stable for a
couple of seconds before I gently pushed her down and forward, sliding out
from between her legs and into clean air. The dive went well, for our side
at least, the other side had somebody land on it resulting in about half a
dozen people getting funneled. At break off I drifted over too far and wound
up rodeoing Josee, so I got to start and finish the Skydive riding a girl.
There have been a few fines handed out but for the most part people have
been well behaved and the skydives haven't been scary.
We're done for the day and will be going to the Banquet tonight to collect
the rest of our awards.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Our Mama's will be Proud
picture and a thousand words. The story is just the story, but the picture
is the punch line that drives it all home.
8 Months, 3 1/2 hours of tunnel, 28 training jumps, hour after hour after
hour after hour on creepers, pinched fingers, frayed nerves, body slams,
funneled exits, stress, late nights, sleepless nights, early mornings,
pushing, shoving, nagging, arguing, whining, heads pounded against walls
(literally), missed days at work, and it all comes down to "35 seconds of
working time after the first team member achieves total separation from the
aircraft". Times 10. Some teams fold under the pressure, some rise to the
occasion, and some, like us, do neither. We planned the dives, and dove the
plans. Nothing fancy, just a simple strategy of staying calm and cool, and
doing what we knew we could do. And steadily racking up points on every
round. Even in the first round on Tuesday when we got onto the plane
coughing hacking and sneezing like a bunch of patients from an influenza
ward our energy level was high. We thought we'd blown that whole very
difficult round and would have been happy scoring 3 points. We earned 6. We
dropped a grip on a couple of exits but kept flying and pulled it back
together with hardly any time lost.
We even lucked out in the draw for our loading order. We were the only
people on the plane with Evolution and Tropical Fish. There was never any
rushing to board, no running to the plane, quiet rides to altitude as we all
focused on mental rehearsal, all of us sitting there with eyes closed and
our arms and heads moving back and forth as we pictured the perfect skydive
flowing smoothly past.
After our long stand down for weather we were concerned about being able to
get "up" for round 9, but when I started paying attention to peoples
expressions halfway through the skydive I realized we were all grinning at
each other like a bunch of kids on Christmas morning. Turn - stop - grip -
flash - turn - stop - grip - flash - me and my piece partner Josee linked
together hopping over the other piece and dropping right into their grips -
stop - flash - turn........... Formation Skydiving is one of the ultimate
team sports, no matter how good the star of your team is, the team is only
as good as it's weakest member.
We were literally dancing as we walked back from the landing area.
To sum it up: WE KICKED ASS!
Final Results
Gold: Evolution
Silver: Tropical Fish
Bronze: 4D
90 Points in time over 10 rounds for a 9 average.
And we beat a team with matching suits.
And the peasants rejoiced.
Last night we stood together in the hangar, a Team, as they draped our
medals around our necks.
As soon as the medals were all awarded Neil McGrath called Nathalie up to
present a couple of awards and I found out the real reason Dan and Casey had
come all the way to Burnaby. It was to deliver my Gold Wings for my Two
Thousandth jump and accompanying framed certificate, and my pin for 10 hours
of accumulated freefall time. And a bottle of Scotch. Thanks Dan, maybe I
won't show your future in-laws the pictures from your stag after all.
We managed to get through all our training and the competition with only
some minor bruises. Until we were creeping for round 10. As we went through
one block I put my forearm flat on the ground beside me as I started a turn
and sandwiched my arm between the concrete and the creeper wheel with all my
strength and body weight behind it. I felt a momentary flash of pain and
then the whole arm went numb, but I kept on going. Sort of. It's difficult
to creep using only one arm and with the other feeling like it's had a
tourniquet put on it. We got through a couple more moves with the rest of
the team asking me what was wrong and me insisting I was fine and that we
should keep going when the feeling started coming back into my arm and I
started wishing it had stayed numb. Phil saw the look on my face as we
passed each other, and while he says I had tears running down my face I'm
pretty sure it was just sweat. I'm actually kinda disappointed. There's a
raw spot a little more than an inch long, but for the amount of pain
involved I was really hoping for a big colorful bruise to show off.
Next: 8-Way and 10-Way Speed!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Power Rangers Never Give Up!
It's 2:30 and we're on a weather hold. The winds are stupid strong and we
all had a carnival ride as we came in to land on our last jump. There was a
load in the boarding area ready to go but when manifest saw us come down
they shut the plane down. There's a tornado warning out for Hamilton which
is practically around the corner, but it's a competition so if they say go,
we go. 8 Rounds done and in the bag and considering we're averaging a box of
Kleenex and a dozen Sudafed every few hours we're holding up pretty well. By
the time we've tracked away on the last few jumps my sinuses have been in
agony from the rapid pressurization, Nathalie is currently unconscious in a
lawn chair, and the 3 of us keep honking regularly like a herd of elephants.
But like Steve tells Nolan "Power Rangers Never Give Up!" 7 Rounds have been
posted and we are continuing to strengthen our hold on 3rd place. In fact,
we scored 15 points in round 7 which is almost the total our pick-up team
scored in 10 rounds in Farnham in 2005. While they aren't exactly looking
over their shoulders, Evolution and The Fish better watch out, we'll be
gunning for them in 2011. Or maybe 2013. Maybe.
It's always interesting to see the names some of the teams use.
The Divas - from Burnaby
Malformation - from Winnipeg
Pink Parts - also from Winnipeg
The Gan Sky Cows - from Gananoque
Thrown Together - as the name implies, thrown together by a bunch of people
who had nothing better to do.
At least if they'd release us for the day we could go soak in the hot tub
overlooking the beach at our cottage, but we're at the mercy of the meet
director, and so here we sit.
all had a carnival ride as we came in to land on our last jump. There was a
load in the boarding area ready to go but when manifest saw us come down
they shut the plane down. There's a tornado warning out for Hamilton which
is practically around the corner, but it's a competition so if they say go,
we go. 8 Rounds done and in the bag and considering we're averaging a box of
Kleenex and a dozen Sudafed every few hours we're holding up pretty well. By
the time we've tracked away on the last few jumps my sinuses have been in
agony from the rapid pressurization, Nathalie is currently unconscious in a
lawn chair, and the 3 of us keep honking regularly like a herd of elephants.
But like Steve tells Nolan "Power Rangers Never Give Up!" 7 Rounds have been
posted and we are continuing to strengthen our hold on 3rd place. In fact,
we scored 15 points in round 7 which is almost the total our pick-up team
scored in 10 rounds in Farnham in 2005. While they aren't exactly looking
over their shoulders, Evolution and The Fish better watch out, we'll be
gunning for them in 2011. Or maybe 2013. Maybe.
It's always interesting to see the names some of the teams use.
The Divas - from Burnaby
Malformation - from Winnipeg
Pink Parts - also from Winnipeg
The Gan Sky Cows - from Gananoque
Thrown Together - as the name implies, thrown together by a bunch of people
who had nothing better to do.
At least if they'd release us for the day we could go soak in the hot tub
overlooking the beach at our cottage, but we're at the mercy of the meet
director, and so here we sit.
Monday, August 3, 2009
What In The Wide Wide World of Sports.....?
"What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here?"
Mel Brooks - in Blazing Saddles
Competition started yesterday with 9 teams entered in 4-way FS. And we're
sick. 3/4 Of the team has a cold. Josee is the only one not sick, and the
cameraman is as always, hovering safely above the burble. Nathalie is by far
the worst, coughing and hacking most of the night, and we are so pumped full
of various cold, cough, and sinus remedies we're joking that we should have
T shirts saying "Sponsored by Sudafed, Bayer, Pfizer, and Robitussin". At
least we're still joking. Not only that, we're holding our own and then
some. After 4 rounds yesterday we have a solid hold on 3rd place behind
Evolution and Tropical Fish. All we have to do is stick with the plan. Slow
and steady, take the safe moves, use the exits we know, and protect our
standing. In other words, everything will be fine as long as we don't do
anything stupid. We're on a 20 minute call to do our first jump of the day
and will probably do our last 6 jumps today. If our sinuses hold out.
And we're ahead of a team with matching suits
Mel Brooks - in Blazing Saddles
Competition started yesterday with 9 teams entered in 4-way FS. And we're
sick. 3/4 Of the team has a cold. Josee is the only one not sick, and the
cameraman is as always, hovering safely above the burble. Nathalie is by far
the worst, coughing and hacking most of the night, and we are so pumped full
of various cold, cough, and sinus remedies we're joking that we should have
T shirts saying "Sponsored by Sudafed, Bayer, Pfizer, and Robitussin". At
least we're still joking. Not only that, we're holding our own and then
some. After 4 rounds yesterday we have a solid hold on 3rd place behind
Evolution and Tropical Fish. All we have to do is stick with the plan. Slow
and steady, take the safe moves, use the exits we know, and protect our
standing. In other words, everything will be fine as long as we don't do
anything stupid. We're on a 20 minute call to do our first jump of the day
and will probably do our last 6 jumps today. If our sinuses hold out.
And we're ahead of a team with matching suits
To Beer or Not to Beer?
Weather moved in Saturday afternoon so Doug called it a day, the beer light
was lit, and drinking commenced. We retreated to the cottage to relax and
have a few drinks before the banquet. We've hardly spent any time at the
cottage, which is a shame as it is quite picturesque. It's on the lake, we
were lulled to sleep every night by the sound of the surf, but we only all
got in the hot tub once, I never even set foot on the beach, and the
bicycles that we'd dragged all the way here hardly got ridden. The cottage
itself is so cluttered with crud crap and bric-a-brac that it can be
difficult to move around in without tripping over something once you get a
couple of drinks in you, but that didn't detract from it's charm.
The Camp will continue on Sunday, weather permitting.
A few people have sent messages asking what the significance of the name of
our 4-way team is. The name of a team is actually very important. It can
define who you are, how serious you are, and what your goals are. Are you
going to be focused and aim for a National title, are you just out to have
fun, or are you just doing it to meet girls?
The team name is 4D. We had discussed (argued about) possible names for a
few months when Josee sent out an email one night:
Hi guys,
I think I found a good team name!
4D
The idea is that we're working with 3 dimensions + the 4th which is time (we
have to do everything not only using all 3 dimensions -doing verticals - but
also fast!).
It's also because we are 4 "designated" something (driver, fall rate setter,
keyer (?), dive engineer ).
And we're 4.
And it's a bilingual name. And it's short.
I'm not sure if you'll like it but I'm very excited about it!
Let me know what you think.
Josée
It stuck. And we stuck with it. And achieved our goals.
When we sat down with Eddy R a couple days before the nationals he asked us
our goals. We gave him the usual list: High average Score, Personal Best,
Make our Mama's proud, stuff like that. I also told him I wanted to beat a
team with matching suits but he didn't seem to believe me. A day and a half
later, after reviewing the day of training that we had done on Saturday, he
said "Congratulations. You've already achieved all your goals. You've
already won." At first we just sat there, but the more I thought about it,
the more I realized he was right. No matter how the competition ended, we
were already winners. We set a goal, hammered out a plan, and saw it
through. 4 Very different people with different skills and personalities
were able to pull together and become a Team. We sat one night and watched
all our 4-way jumps from the last week and it just blew me away. Holy Crap!
We're F*****G Good! Who the hell is that on the screen wearing my jumpsuit
because there's no way I can fly like that! And who are the rest of those
people? Damn they're fast! And clean and crisp and controlled! I want to be
them when I grow up. Not that I'll ever grow up.
But we didn't do it alone. We couldn't have done it alone. There were a lot
of people who went out of their way and worked to help us get here. People
like Mario Prevost and Michel Lemay who gave us priority over their Tandem
customers and made we sure we were able to get tunnnel time when we wanted
it, the staff at work who shifted their schedules around to let me have time
to train, and all the people who offered encouragement and cheered us on.
Thanks to Paul for sticking it out through the learning curve, and being a
good sport about all the ribbing he took while he was still learning how to
not take out our exits.
And a special thanks to the person who deserves a huge amount of the credit
for what we were able to achieve - Richard Bisson, our secret weapon. Riding
herd on 4 type-A personalities for 4 months, teaching and guiding us as we
learned to work together, acting as coach, den mother, father confessor,
leader, and cheering section, would try the patience of a saint. He handled
it all with patience and restraint, taking everything in stride, as he
showed us the way. You're also waaaay undercharging for your services.
And what was I designated in 4D you might ask? I was the designated drinker
of course.
Crazy Larry
Outside Center for 4D, Bronze Medalists in the Open category, Nationals
2009.
Cowdendum: My apologies to the team who took Gold in 8-way. It seems I have
mis-reported their name. And a name is everything as I explained earlier.
Their name was "Brown Chicken Brown Cow". One poultry, one cow, not two cows
as I had thought, but at least I got the color right.
was lit, and drinking commenced. We retreated to the cottage to relax and
have a few drinks before the banquet. We've hardly spent any time at the
cottage, which is a shame as it is quite picturesque. It's on the lake, we
were lulled to sleep every night by the sound of the surf, but we only all
got in the hot tub once, I never even set foot on the beach, and the
bicycles that we'd dragged all the way here hardly got ridden. The cottage
itself is so cluttered with crud crap and bric-a-brac that it can be
difficult to move around in without tripping over something once you get a
couple of drinks in you, but that didn't detract from it's charm.
The Camp will continue on Sunday, weather permitting.
A few people have sent messages asking what the significance of the name of
our 4-way team is. The name of a team is actually very important. It can
define who you are, how serious you are, and what your goals are. Are you
going to be focused and aim for a National title, are you just out to have
fun, or are you just doing it to meet girls?
The team name is 4D. We had discussed (argued about) possible names for a
few months when Josee sent out an email one night:
Hi guys,
I think I found a good team name!
4D
The idea is that we're working with 3 dimensions + the 4th which is time (we
have to do everything not only using all 3 dimensions -doing verticals - but
also fast!).
It's also because we are 4 "designated" something (driver, fall rate setter,
keyer (?), dive engineer ).
And we're 4.
And it's a bilingual name. And it's short.
I'm not sure if you'll like it but I'm very excited about it!
Let me know what you think.
Josée
It stuck. And we stuck with it. And achieved our goals.
When we sat down with Eddy R a couple days before the nationals he asked us
our goals. We gave him the usual list: High average Score, Personal Best,
Make our Mama's proud, stuff like that. I also told him I wanted to beat a
team with matching suits but he didn't seem to believe me. A day and a half
later, after reviewing the day of training that we had done on Saturday, he
said "Congratulations. You've already achieved all your goals. You've
already won." At first we just sat there, but the more I thought about it,
the more I realized he was right. No matter how the competition ended, we
were already winners. We set a goal, hammered out a plan, and saw it
through. 4 Very different people with different skills and personalities
were able to pull together and become a Team. We sat one night and watched
all our 4-way jumps from the last week and it just blew me away. Holy Crap!
We're F*****G Good! Who the hell is that on the screen wearing my jumpsuit
because there's no way I can fly like that! And who are the rest of those
people? Damn they're fast! And clean and crisp and controlled! I want to be
them when I grow up. Not that I'll ever grow up.
But we didn't do it alone. We couldn't have done it alone. There were a lot
of people who went out of their way and worked to help us get here. People
like Mario Prevost and Michel Lemay who gave us priority over their Tandem
customers and made we sure we were able to get tunnnel time when we wanted
it, the staff at work who shifted their schedules around to let me have time
to train, and all the people who offered encouragement and cheered us on.
Thanks to Paul for sticking it out through the learning curve, and being a
good sport about all the ribbing he took while he was still learning how to
not take out our exits.
And a special thanks to the person who deserves a huge amount of the credit
for what we were able to achieve - Richard Bisson, our secret weapon. Riding
herd on 4 type-A personalities for 4 months, teaching and guiding us as we
learned to work together, acting as coach, den mother, father confessor,
leader, and cheering section, would try the patience of a saint. He handled
it all with patience and restraint, taking everything in stride, as he
showed us the way. You're also waaaay undercharging for your services.
And what was I designated in 4D you might ask? I was the designated drinker
of course.
Crazy Larry
Outside Center for 4D, Bronze Medalists in the Open category, Nationals
2009.
Cowdendum: My apologies to the team who took Gold in 8-way. It seems I have
mis-reported their name. And a name is everything as I explained earlier.
Their name was "Brown Chicken Brown Cow". One poultry, one cow, not two cows
as I had thought, but at least I got the color right.
Don't let me near John Smith's Scotch
That's what Paul told me before we left Ottawa. Last night be bumped
throught the door with a silly grin on his face and a plastic cup full of
Glenfiddich. Appearently he doesn't take his own advice.
Canopy Piloting started early Wednesday morning. By the time we got there
they were doing Speed Carving. That involves hook-turning a canopy to put it
into a dive accelerating towards the ground, leveling it off just before the
pilot impacts, passing through an electronic gate 5 feet off the surface of
the pond, and then carving the canopy, changing the direction to stay
between the gates as they curve away from the original direction of flight,
and passing out through the end of the course without touching the pond, the
ground, or passing outside of a gate. This all happens a few feet off the
ground at speeds exceeding 80 MPH. I was crouched down next to the course
with Dr. Mike trying to get some photo's as the competitors flashed past
when Jay Moledski, Canadian and World Champion of Canopy Piloting entered
the course. He was swung out as he carved, with the canopy perpendicular to
the ground as he went by, and he clipped a gate with his foot. At a few feet
off the ground, going like a bat out of hell, at an angle that was scary
just to watch go by, he turned his head to look over his shoulder, checking
to be sure he didn't bust the gate and get a zero score as he continued
through the course and landed at the end as effortlessly as if he was one of
us mere mortals doing a straight in landing. There's a reason he's World
Champ.
Every time somebody started a run the St. John's Ambulance guys would pick
up their stretcher and bags and tense up, only to put them back down again
when the run was complete.
8-Way ran on Wednesday. Normally you put at team together, and then enter.
This year, Monique from Tropical fish suggested running it like a scrambles
competition. So Josee chased down everybody who was interested, harassed a
couple more into joining in to get an even number, and then drew names out
of a hat to determine the teams. This is not exactly standard practice at a
National level competition, but it sure turned out to be a lot of fun.
The team I was picked for was named by Team Captain Rhonda Joyce: Scrambled
Eights and Bacon. Perfect.
We funneled the 8-way competition exit that I had so carefully briefed and
insisted would work like a charm (proving once again that I only think I
know it all) and never built the first point, earning a zero score on the
first round. When we landed Rhonda pulled me aside and said she thought we
needed a different strategy. She suggested taking four solid flyers to be
the base with the rest diving or floating and then building it from there.
We also decided to not bother briefing the whole skydive because the odds of
our getting through he whole thing were pretty damn low. The team was a mix
of low to extremely high experience with different fall rates who had never
flown together, so we really had to work to the lowest common denominator.
Rhonda, Scott Simpson, Mike Pitt and I formed the base giving all the rest a
well defined target to head for. The second dive went much better with us
launching a Meeker, quickly flipping it to a donut, and the rest of docked
pretty quickly for our first point. That set the pace for the rest of that
round and the next.
On round 3 we launched a Stairstep Diamond as the base, and Diane Beer Girl
was taking a compressed grip on my left side. It built fast with one person
low, so Scott and I folded ourselves in two to pick up the pace to get down
to them, but I inadvertently pushed down on Diane's leg causing her to fold
up and start to flip over on top of us so I tossed her away. She promptly
came back for revenge. As soon as the first point was built, I keyed it to
the next one, and Diane turned me into Her Bitch and took me for a ride. We
were supposed to do a 360 degree turn as a piece and then redock with the
center. I stuck out my right leg to start the turn and suddenly I could feel
her hauling on my grip as she accelerated into the spin. I went neutral at
the halfway point and we were still accelerating as I started to think
"NOOOOOOOO!" There wasn't the slightest shred of doubt in my mind that we
were going to go blasting right past our slot spinning like a Frisbee and
that it would take at least another full revolution to stop. I have no idea
how she did it but she dragged me to a screeching halt perfectly on level
and in our slot, with my hand inches from the grip I was supposed to take on
a wide-eyed Mike Pitt. Holy Crap! She bought her suit used from Eliana
Rodriguez of Arizona Airspeed and has often joked that she hoped it would
just be able to fly itself and make her look good. I don't think she need
any help from any suit, she seems to have it all figured out on her own.
It was also Rhonda's birthday and the whole load sang her Happy Birthday as
we went to altitude.
Heather told me on one of rides up that in the Intermediate 4-way
competition - in which they took silver - they had been doing the standard
warm-and-fuzzy handshake before getting ready to launch. Things hadn't been
going so well so they changed it to "F*** the Lord, He's not with us!" And
went out and scored 7 points. They changed their strategy making profanity
and blasphemy the order of the day.
In the end we were able to make up the ground we lost in round 1.
Final results: Scrambled Eights and Bacon - Silver
Thursday: Ten-Way Speed
throught the door with a silly grin on his face and a plastic cup full of
Glenfiddich. Appearently he doesn't take his own advice.
Canopy Piloting started early Wednesday morning. By the time we got there
they were doing Speed Carving. That involves hook-turning a canopy to put it
into a dive accelerating towards the ground, leveling it off just before the
pilot impacts, passing through an electronic gate 5 feet off the surface of
the pond, and then carving the canopy, changing the direction to stay
between the gates as they curve away from the original direction of flight,
and passing out through the end of the course without touching the pond, the
ground, or passing outside of a gate. This all happens a few feet off the
ground at speeds exceeding 80 MPH. I was crouched down next to the course
with Dr. Mike trying to get some photo's as the competitors flashed past
when Jay Moledski, Canadian and World Champion of Canopy Piloting entered
the course. He was swung out as he carved, with the canopy perpendicular to
the ground as he went by, and he clipped a gate with his foot. At a few feet
off the ground, going like a bat out of hell, at an angle that was scary
just to watch go by, he turned his head to look over his shoulder, checking
to be sure he didn't bust the gate and get a zero score as he continued
through the course and landed at the end as effortlessly as if he was one of
us mere mortals doing a straight in landing. There's a reason he's World
Champ.
Every time somebody started a run the St. John's Ambulance guys would pick
up their stretcher and bags and tense up, only to put them back down again
when the run was complete.
8-Way ran on Wednesday. Normally you put at team together, and then enter.
This year, Monique from Tropical fish suggested running it like a scrambles
competition. So Josee chased down everybody who was interested, harassed a
couple more into joining in to get an even number, and then drew names out
of a hat to determine the teams. This is not exactly standard practice at a
National level competition, but it sure turned out to be a lot of fun.
The team I was picked for was named by Team Captain Rhonda Joyce: Scrambled
Eights and Bacon. Perfect.
We funneled the 8-way competition exit that I had so carefully briefed and
insisted would work like a charm (proving once again that I only think I
know it all) and never built the first point, earning a zero score on the
first round. When we landed Rhonda pulled me aside and said she thought we
needed a different strategy. She suggested taking four solid flyers to be
the base with the rest diving or floating and then building it from there.
We also decided to not bother briefing the whole skydive because the odds of
our getting through he whole thing were pretty damn low. The team was a mix
of low to extremely high experience with different fall rates who had never
flown together, so we really had to work to the lowest common denominator.
Rhonda, Scott Simpson, Mike Pitt and I formed the base giving all the rest a
well defined target to head for. The second dive went much better with us
launching a Meeker, quickly flipping it to a donut, and the rest of docked
pretty quickly for our first point. That set the pace for the rest of that
round and the next.
On round 3 we launched a Stairstep Diamond as the base, and Diane Beer Girl
was taking a compressed grip on my left side. It built fast with one person
low, so Scott and I folded ourselves in two to pick up the pace to get down
to them, but I inadvertently pushed down on Diane's leg causing her to fold
up and start to flip over on top of us so I tossed her away. She promptly
came back for revenge. As soon as the first point was built, I keyed it to
the next one, and Diane turned me into Her Bitch and took me for a ride. We
were supposed to do a 360 degree turn as a piece and then redock with the
center. I stuck out my right leg to start the turn and suddenly I could feel
her hauling on my grip as she accelerated into the spin. I went neutral at
the halfway point and we were still accelerating as I started to think
"NOOOOOOOO!" There wasn't the slightest shred of doubt in my mind that we
were going to go blasting right past our slot spinning like a Frisbee and
that it would take at least another full revolution to stop. I have no idea
how she did it but she dragged me to a screeching halt perfectly on level
and in our slot, with my hand inches from the grip I was supposed to take on
a wide-eyed Mike Pitt. Holy Crap! She bought her suit used from Eliana
Rodriguez of Arizona Airspeed and has often joked that she hoped it would
just be able to fly itself and make her look good. I don't think she need
any help from any suit, she seems to have it all figured out on her own.
It was also Rhonda's birthday and the whole load sang her Happy Birthday as
we went to altitude.
Heather told me on one of rides up that in the Intermediate 4-way
competition - in which they took silver - they had been doing the standard
warm-and-fuzzy handshake before getting ready to launch. Things hadn't been
going so well so they changed it to "F*** the Lord, He's not with us!" And
went out and scored 7 points. They changed their strategy making profanity
and blasphemy the order of the day.
In the end we were able to make up the ground we lost in round 1.
Final results: Scrambled Eights and Bacon - Silver
Thursday: Ten-Way Speed
Sunday, August 2, 2009
We Must Be All Here.....
Because we're not all there.
That can only mean one thing:Ten-Way Speed! Get there as fast as you can,
build it, hold it for 5 seconds, hang out until you get to 4,500 feet, then
turn track and get the hell out of town before God stuffs a planet up your
ass. Normally Formation Skydiving competition involves building the same
formations as many times as possible within a given time, requiring timing,
teamwork, self-control, and discipline. Not this event. It's a sprint that
starts at 11,000 feet with the goal of building a single point as fast as
you can. Screw discipline! Just get there any way you can and for God's
sake, don't take it out! Lowest total score after 4 rounds wins. It's also
one of the most popular events at Nationals.
The fun starts with naming the team.
From Burnaby there was "Five boxes of Crackers". The definition is too
filthy for even I to put into print, suffice it to say that there were 5
girls on the Team.
The Winnipeg crew and the people they were able to put together were called
"Brown Cow Chicken Brown Cow". I can hear Donna laughing already. If you
slur the words to say "Bow Wow Chicka Bow Wow" at the same time as you
swivel your hips and move your hands around in front of you it has a vaguely
sexual theme relating to strippers. I think. I do know that every time
manifest tried to say the name over the PA it resulted in several team
members storming into manifest to correct the pronunciation.
We were the "Chuting Stars".
Our first jump went pretty smoothly everything considered, and we built in
reasonable time.
For our second jump the Drop Zone owner Mike Pitt asked if our videographer
could try and get a picture of the DZ from the air through the center of the
Speed Star. When Philippe heard this he taunted Mike saying "Not only will
we get the picture of your DZ that you want, we're going to get the Gold as
well!" At the time Mike's team had a solid lead.
We did the jump, a jungle-rules-dock-wherever-you-can Speed Star. The 10-way
built fast as we slid down past a solid white cloud. John had a pretty good
idea where the DZ was and positioned himself so that as we dropped clear of
the cloud the Airport popped into view centered dead in the middle of our
formation. It couldn't have worked out better with a dozen rehearsals.
And we earned the Gold.
Take THAT Mike Pitt!
I was in Manifest a few minutes later when I overheard Tara Pitt say
"Nothing ever surprises me anymore." Without a moments hesitation I had my
shirt off, dropped my shorts, climbed across the counter and was getting
ready to peel off my underwear when Tara covered her eyes and started to
scream. Hah! I showed her!
Johnny Larue went to fetch Beth from the airport but when he got back I
couldn't see anybody with him in the car. That was because she had slammed
her finger in the car door and almost fainted from the pain, so her seat was
reclined. I called over to the St. John's Ambulance guys "Help! I've got an
injured girl over here!. They laughed. ???? "She got hurt and fainted! Can
ya give us a hand?" More laughter. "She's HOT!" That seemed to get their
attention.
End of Chapter 3
That can only mean one thing:Ten-Way Speed! Get there as fast as you can,
build it, hold it for 5 seconds, hang out until you get to 4,500 feet, then
turn track and get the hell out of town before God stuffs a planet up your
ass. Normally Formation Skydiving competition involves building the same
formations as many times as possible within a given time, requiring timing,
teamwork, self-control, and discipline. Not this event. It's a sprint that
starts at 11,000 feet with the goal of building a single point as fast as
you can. Screw discipline! Just get there any way you can and for God's
sake, don't take it out! Lowest total score after 4 rounds wins. It's also
one of the most popular events at Nationals.
The fun starts with naming the team.
From Burnaby there was "Five boxes of Crackers". The definition is too
filthy for even I to put into print, suffice it to say that there were 5
girls on the Team.
The Winnipeg crew and the people they were able to put together were called
"Brown Cow Chicken Brown Cow". I can hear Donna laughing already. If you
slur the words to say "Bow Wow Chicka Bow Wow" at the same time as you
swivel your hips and move your hands around in front of you it has a vaguely
sexual theme relating to strippers. I think. I do know that every time
manifest tried to say the name over the PA it resulted in several team
members storming into manifest to correct the pronunciation.
We were the "Chuting Stars".
Our first jump went pretty smoothly everything considered, and we built in
reasonable time.
For our second jump the Drop Zone owner Mike Pitt asked if our videographer
could try and get a picture of the DZ from the air through the center of the
Speed Star. When Philippe heard this he taunted Mike saying "Not only will
we get the picture of your DZ that you want, we're going to get the Gold as
well!" At the time Mike's team had a solid lead.
We did the jump, a jungle-rules-dock-wherever-you-can Speed Star. The 10-way
built fast as we slid down past a solid white cloud. John had a pretty good
idea where the DZ was and positioned himself so that as we dropped clear of
the cloud the Airport popped into view centered dead in the middle of our
formation. It couldn't have worked out better with a dozen rehearsals.
And we earned the Gold.
Take THAT Mike Pitt!
I was in Manifest a few minutes later when I overheard Tara Pitt say
"Nothing ever surprises me anymore." Without a moments hesitation I had my
shirt off, dropped my shorts, climbed across the counter and was getting
ready to peel off my underwear when Tara covered her eyes and started to
scream. Hah! I showed her!
Johnny Larue went to fetch Beth from the airport but when he got back I
couldn't see anybody with him in the car. That was because she had slammed
her finger in the car door and almost fainted from the pain, so her seat was
reclined. I called over to the St. John's Ambulance guys "Help! I've got an
injured girl over here!. They laughed. ???? "She got hurt and fainted! Can
ya give us a hand?" More laughter. "She's HOT!" That seemed to get their
attention.
End of Chapter 3
Put the "if" back in life
Chapter 2
Nationals 2009
The drive from Chicago to Burnaby took 10 hours, and all my willpower. I
really didn't want to leave. When I left Chicago Friday morning the weather
was "Severe Clear". That's pilotspeak for light winds, warm temperatures,
low humidity, and not a cloud in the sky. Everybody was sitting on the deck
outside the Swamp, finishing their coffee, arguing about who funneled which
skydive the day before, and how many points we would have gotten if we
hadn't started doing full-body-contact, Combat RW. It's all great fun until
somebody loses an eye, and then it's absolutely friggin' hilarious.
When I'd arrived at Skydive Chicago I hadn't even come to a stop before
Kelly put a beer in my hand, and in Burnaby I hadn't even come to a stop
before Nathalie intercepted me to invite me on a skydive to attempt to set a
new Ontario Provincial POPS (Parachutists Over Phorty) record. They had to
hold the load while I did my paperwork. It didn't build, but it sure was a
fun way to get welcomed back to Burnaby. Nathalie forgot to put on her
weight belt, and I remembered to put on mine but should have left it off
because I was a late diver, consequently there was a four foot difference in
height between the grip in my left hand and the one in my right. You try
flying like you're pretending to be the Karate Kid and see just how
difficult that is. The whole time I was praying that someone else would take
out the formation before I couldn't hold that pose any longer and send 20
plus people scattering across the sky. At least I finally got to meet TOP
POP Carey Peck (son of Gregory), he was organizing the load.
The Team - 4D
Point - Josee Leblanc, 600 jumps, no tunnel time before we started training
for this, one trip to Nationals, member of Team Pink 2007, which set a new
Canadian women's formation skydiving record, Coach 2, and her parents own
the DZ in St. Frederick, so she certainly has the pedigree.
Tail - Philippe Morin, 500 jumps, about 10 hours of tunnel time, no ratings
or endorsements beyond a basic B license, and in 2005 when he had 110 jumps
his team earned Bronze in OPEN 4-way at Nationals, member of Team Canada in
2006 which set a Canadian Formation Skydiving record that still stands,
member of Team Elite 2008 which set a multi-point formation skydiving world
record, and the kid continually demonstrates an ability to visualize and
plan mirror-image slot-switcher dives and explain it in terms even I can
understand.
Inside Center - Nathalie Gaudreault. I don't have time or space to list all
the stuff this girl has accomplished so I'll just give the highlights. 2,200
Jumps, PFF Instructor, freefall videographer, member of Team Elite, Z-Team,
every World Team as far back as I can remember except for the 400 way in
2006, member of Angels Fall - former Canadian Women's 4-way champions, plane
captain and organizer of Team Pink, Member of Jump For The Cause, and the
list goes on. She also happens to be my girlfriend. In a side note, as her
fund raiser for Jump For The Cause 2009 to raise over $1,000,000 for breast
cancer research and simultaneously set a women's world skydiving record she
and Debbie Lovegrove have put together a calendar featuring women skydivers
that they are selling for $20 each. Apart from the fact that it's for a good
cause, if anybody would like a calendar of tastefully done semi-naked
skydiver girls, just contact me and I'll fix you up.
Video - Paul Wing, can you think of a better last name for a video flyer?
950 Jumps, no ratings, but 4 gold and 1 silver medal at Nationals in CRW,
member of the Canadian CRW record 2008, and an all-round nice guy. He
started flying Tandem Video 2 years ago, and we were very happy to have him
for the video slot. That is, until he actually started flying the video
slot. I forgot to ask him one very important question: "Have you ever done
4-way video?" He seemed to feel it was important to continuously perform
structural integrity tests on the formation shortly after launch, but he
eventually got that sorted out so we decided to keep him.
Coach - Richard Bisson, our secret weapon. Former member of Evolution (he
was tossed off to make room for one of Michel Lemay's kids), medals medals
and more medals, the calming hand that has patiently guided us along the
path to where we are now. A serious team in serious contention to not make
complete fools out of ourselves.
Me - Crazy Larry - Outside Center. I won't start talking about myself here,
I'd never shut myself up.
Team Goal for this competition: Beat any team with matching suits. We could
actually pull it off.
Our plan was to train on Saturday, just 4 jumps done at a leisurely pace to
get our brains up to speed, party on Saturday night, and then take Sunday
off. We rented a cottage in Lowbanks on lake Erie complete with beach and
hot tub, so that would be a rest day.
Saturday night Tara Pitt brought in a Celtic Rock band that sounded like a
cross between Aerosmith and Great Big Sea. The party went on into the wee
small hours of the night. Dan and Casey showed up on their way from Ottawa
to the wedding in St John's and their theme for the evening seemed to be
"Dan's Last Days Of Freedom Tour". They were travelling with a whole circus.
The trailer, the bikes, the ferrets, Harley the Dog, and lord knows what
else.
It was good we hadn't planned to jump Sunday morning as we woke up to
pouring rain. We left the DZ around midafternoon to take possession of the
cottage and and Nat's phone rang soon as the weather started to break. The
POPS group had done 3 days of jumps trying to set a Canadian Record and were
still coming up a couple of bodies short. We grabbed our rigs and ran back
to the drop zone as fast as we could. They stuck us on as late divers and up
we went, out we went, and a new Canadian Pops record was set. 32 Young at
heart Boys and Girls built and held it for 8 seconds. We should have briefed
a second point. Something else to add to my Skydiving resume. I felt sorry
for the people that had put 3 days of effort into the record just to watch
Nathalie and I waltz on, do one dive, and it was done. Maybe I should let
Home Hardware know. That's gotta be good for some free publicity. After all,
I had the HH logo that was covering up the RCMP crest at my Dad's funeral
stitched onto my jumpsuit.
Friday night some Guy called Rob Laidlaw from some place called Skydive
University and his sidekick Eddy R pulled us aside and volunteered to coach
us since our own coach was unable to make the trip. We thought about it for
all of about a half-a-nanosecond before saying YES! Rob is a skydiving
pioneer of some minor note (though not as minor as a certain videographer of
a team named after sushi) who moved to the states years ago, but still calls
Canada home. Eddy R is ......well, Eddy R.
The opening ceremonies are scheduled for Monday morning at 10:00, and then
it's Game On! The results of 9 months of planning preparation and training,
frustration anger and joy, bruises contusions and tunnel rash, all decided
in 10 -35 second skydives.
Internet is pretty spotty here so I don't know when you will get this, but I
will post the results of 4-way as soon as the judges are done.
And I heard that Al Nadeau helped to set a new Head-Down record in Chicago
after I left. 108!
Nationals 2009
The drive from Chicago to Burnaby took 10 hours, and all my willpower. I
really didn't want to leave. When I left Chicago Friday morning the weather
was "Severe Clear". That's pilotspeak for light winds, warm temperatures,
low humidity, and not a cloud in the sky. Everybody was sitting on the deck
outside the Swamp, finishing their coffee, arguing about who funneled which
skydive the day before, and how many points we would have gotten if we
hadn't started doing full-body-contact, Combat RW. It's all great fun until
somebody loses an eye, and then it's absolutely friggin' hilarious.
When I'd arrived at Skydive Chicago I hadn't even come to a stop before
Kelly put a beer in my hand, and in Burnaby I hadn't even come to a stop
before Nathalie intercepted me to invite me on a skydive to attempt to set a
new Ontario Provincial POPS (Parachutists Over Phorty) record. They had to
hold the load while I did my paperwork. It didn't build, but it sure was a
fun way to get welcomed back to Burnaby. Nathalie forgot to put on her
weight belt, and I remembered to put on mine but should have left it off
because I was a late diver, consequently there was a four foot difference in
height between the grip in my left hand and the one in my right. You try
flying like you're pretending to be the Karate Kid and see just how
difficult that is. The whole time I was praying that someone else would take
out the formation before I couldn't hold that pose any longer and send 20
plus people scattering across the sky. At least I finally got to meet TOP
POP Carey Peck (son of Gregory), he was organizing the load.
The Team - 4D
Point - Josee Leblanc, 600 jumps, no tunnel time before we started training
for this, one trip to Nationals, member of Team Pink 2007, which set a new
Canadian women's formation skydiving record, Coach 2, and her parents own
the DZ in St. Frederick, so she certainly has the pedigree.
Tail - Philippe Morin, 500 jumps, about 10 hours of tunnel time, no ratings
or endorsements beyond a basic B license, and in 2005 when he had 110 jumps
his team earned Bronze in OPEN 4-way at Nationals, member of Team Canada in
2006 which set a Canadian Formation Skydiving record that still stands,
member of Team Elite 2008 which set a multi-point formation skydiving world
record, and the kid continually demonstrates an ability to visualize and
plan mirror-image slot-switcher dives and explain it in terms even I can
understand.
Inside Center - Nathalie Gaudreault. I don't have time or space to list all
the stuff this girl has accomplished so I'll just give the highlights. 2,200
Jumps, PFF Instructor, freefall videographer, member of Team Elite, Z-Team,
every World Team as far back as I can remember except for the 400 way in
2006, member of Angels Fall - former Canadian Women's 4-way champions, plane
captain and organizer of Team Pink, Member of Jump For The Cause, and the
list goes on. She also happens to be my girlfriend. In a side note, as her
fund raiser for Jump For The Cause 2009 to raise over $1,000,000 for breast
cancer research and simultaneously set a women's world skydiving record she
and Debbie Lovegrove have put together a calendar featuring women skydivers
that they are selling for $20 each. Apart from the fact that it's for a good
cause, if anybody would like a calendar of tastefully done semi-naked
skydiver girls, just contact me and I'll fix you up.
Video - Paul Wing, can you think of a better last name for a video flyer?
950 Jumps, no ratings, but 4 gold and 1 silver medal at Nationals in CRW,
member of the Canadian CRW record 2008, and an all-round nice guy. He
started flying Tandem Video 2 years ago, and we were very happy to have him
for the video slot. That is, until he actually started flying the video
slot. I forgot to ask him one very important question: "Have you ever done
4-way video?" He seemed to feel it was important to continuously perform
structural integrity tests on the formation shortly after launch, but he
eventually got that sorted out so we decided to keep him.
Coach - Richard Bisson, our secret weapon. Former member of Evolution (he
was tossed off to make room for one of Michel Lemay's kids), medals medals
and more medals, the calming hand that has patiently guided us along the
path to where we are now. A serious team in serious contention to not make
complete fools out of ourselves.
Me - Crazy Larry - Outside Center. I won't start talking about myself here,
I'd never shut myself up.
Team Goal for this competition: Beat any team with matching suits. We could
actually pull it off.
Our plan was to train on Saturday, just 4 jumps done at a leisurely pace to
get our brains up to speed, party on Saturday night, and then take Sunday
off. We rented a cottage in Lowbanks on lake Erie complete with beach and
hot tub, so that would be a rest day.
Saturday night Tara Pitt brought in a Celtic Rock band that sounded like a
cross between Aerosmith and Great Big Sea. The party went on into the wee
small hours of the night. Dan and Casey showed up on their way from Ottawa
to the wedding in St John's and their theme for the evening seemed to be
"Dan's Last Days Of Freedom Tour". They were travelling with a whole circus.
The trailer, the bikes, the ferrets, Harley the Dog, and lord knows what
else.
It was good we hadn't planned to jump Sunday morning as we woke up to
pouring rain. We left the DZ around midafternoon to take possession of the
cottage and and Nat's phone rang soon as the weather started to break. The
POPS group had done 3 days of jumps trying to set a Canadian Record and were
still coming up a couple of bodies short. We grabbed our rigs and ran back
to the drop zone as fast as we could. They stuck us on as late divers and up
we went, out we went, and a new Canadian Pops record was set. 32 Young at
heart Boys and Girls built and held it for 8 seconds. We should have briefed
a second point. Something else to add to my Skydiving resume. I felt sorry
for the people that had put 3 days of effort into the record just to watch
Nathalie and I waltz on, do one dive, and it was done. Maybe I should let
Home Hardware know. That's gotta be good for some free publicity. After all,
I had the HH logo that was covering up the RCMP crest at my Dad's funeral
stitched onto my jumpsuit.
Friday night some Guy called Rob Laidlaw from some place called Skydive
University and his sidekick Eddy R pulled us aside and volunteered to coach
us since our own coach was unable to make the trip. We thought about it for
all of about a half-a-nanosecond before saying YES! Rob is a skydiving
pioneer of some minor note (though not as minor as a certain videographer of
a team named after sushi) who moved to the states years ago, but still calls
Canada home. Eddy R is ......well, Eddy R.
The opening ceremonies are scheduled for Monday morning at 10:00, and then
it's Game On! The results of 9 months of planning preparation and training,
frustration anger and joy, bruises contusions and tunnel rash, all decided
in 10 -35 second skydives.
Internet is pretty spotty here so I don't know when you will get this, but I
will post the results of 4-way as soon as the judges are done.
And I heard that Al Nadeau helped to set a new Head-Down record in Chicago
after I left. 108!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)