We Must Be All Here.....

Because we're not all there.

That can only mean one thing:Ten-Way Speed! Get there as fast as you can,
build it, hold it for 5 seconds, hang out until you get to 4,500 feet, then
turn track and get the hell out of town before God stuffs a planet up your
ass. Normally Formation Skydiving competition involves building the same
formations as many times as possible within a given time, requiring timing,
teamwork, self-control, and discipline. Not this event. It's a sprint that
starts at 11,000 feet with the goal of building a single point as fast as
you can. Screw discipline! Just get there any way you can and for God's
sake, don't take it out! Lowest total score after 4 rounds wins. It's also
one of the most popular events at Nationals.

The fun starts with naming the team.

From Burnaby there was "Five boxes of Crackers". The definition is too
filthy for even I to put into print, suffice it to say that there were 5
girls on the Team.

The Winnipeg crew and the people they were able to put together were called
"Brown Cow Chicken Brown Cow". I can hear Donna laughing already. If you
slur the words to say "Bow Wow Chicka Bow Wow" at the same time as you
swivel your hips and move your hands around in front of you it has a vaguely
sexual theme relating to strippers. I think. I do know that every time
manifest tried to say the name over the PA it resulted in several team
members storming into manifest to correct the pronunciation.

We were the "Chuting Stars".

Our first jump went pretty smoothly everything considered, and we built in
reasonable time.

For our second jump the Drop Zone owner Mike Pitt asked if our videographer
could try and get a picture of the DZ from the air through the center of the
Speed Star. When Philippe heard this he taunted Mike saying "Not only will
we get the picture of your DZ that you want, we're going to get the Gold as
well!" At the time Mike's team had a solid lead.

We did the jump, a jungle-rules-dock-wherever-you-can Speed Star. The 10-way
built fast as we slid down past a solid white cloud. John had a pretty good
idea where the DZ was and positioned himself so that as we dropped clear of
the cloud the Airport popped into view centered dead in the middle of our
formation. It couldn't have worked out better with a dozen rehearsals.

And we earned the Gold.

Take THAT Mike Pitt!

I was in Manifest a few minutes later when I overheard Tara Pitt say
"Nothing ever surprises me anymore." Without a moments hesitation I had my
shirt off, dropped my shorts, climbed across the counter and was getting
ready to peel off my underwear when Tara covered her eyes and started to
scream. Hah! I showed her!

Johnny Larue went to fetch Beth from the airport but when he got back I
couldn't see anybody with him in the car. That was because she had slammed
her finger in the car door and almost fainted from the pain, so her seat was
reclined. I called over to the St. John's Ambulance guys "Help! I've got an
injured girl over here!. They laughed. ???? "She got hurt and fainted! Can
ya give us a hand?" More laughter. "She's HOT!" That seemed to get their
attention.

End of Chapter 3