The story goes on.......

Saturday was a pretty relaxed, laid back day. It looks to me like attendance for the Invasion is down this year, and not very many of the locals seem to be around. Got four good jumps in before the customary one hour before sunset shutdown. Then they started night jumps. Seeking entertainment, some of us wandered over to watch the landings.

The first thing I noted was the row of cars parked along the west side of the field for illumination, with their headlights shining downwind. Strategically placed so that the jumpers would be blinded as they approached the ground. When I pointed this out I was told they would be landing away from the lights, going east.

"But that's downwind, and it's blowing about 10 miles an hour." I replied.

"It wasn't blowing that fast when they took off." I was told.

"It's blowing  fast now, lets move the damn cars and change the landing direction." I said.

"Plan the dive, dive the plan." I was told.

In the end, the cars stayed where they were, the winds remained strong, and we were treated to the sight of glow-stick covered skydivers appearing out of the darkness to go screaming across the landing area, in most cases overshooting completely, (those that made the landing area at all, there were some issues with spotting) and vanishing in a cloud of dust when they couldn't run it out and did faceplants.

Nobody died, nobody lost an eye, and my rule about only doing night jumps at home because trying to get all your crap home with a cast on your leg is a pain in the ass received some positive reinforcement.

Then we went to eat. That seemed like it would be a fairly straightforward proposition, but we hadn't counted on Paul. Shortly after we were seated at the "Golden Corral All You Can Eat Buffet", a woman of considerable size came in with her husband and son. Very considerable. Massive. E-friggin-normous. She was nearing a bright yellow windbreaker, and when she passed by one girl at the table made a remark about a school bus. Paul piped up saying "For $10 each from everybody at the table I'll go over and make a pass at her."

I came back with "Hell, you'd do it for 25 cents each from everybody". In a flash Brian dug into his pocket and threw 2 quarters on the table saying "Ones mine and one is for Diane." Loose change began being tossed at Paul from every direction, the challenge had been made.

And Paul accepted.

He rose up, grabbed a fresh plate, and headed for the buffet. He casually sauntered up beside her, and started chatting. We missed the first 30 seconds or so because we were too far away to hear, so Garth Johnny and I grabbed plates and went to eavesdrop. The first thing I heard Paul say was "I'm having a great day, I had a lot of fun, and I got to meet you". I couldn't stay for long because I was going to lose it and start laughing so I returned to the table, but Garth and Johnny hung on a while longer. Paul gamely plodded ahead, not even backing down when she pointed out that she was here with her husband and son. I have to hand it to the guy, he pulled it off with style, and showed a sincerity he definitely didn't feel. Although she rejected his advances, she encouraged the compliments, telling him to keep it coming, so for myself I feel no guilt about the crass nature of it.

When she was out of sight on the other side of the restaurant, and Paul was returning to the table, we welcomed him back with a round of applause.

Beth and Tim haven't appeared, even though I waited in the Bar until midnight, they were supposed to be here at noon. I hope they show up soon, or I will have to bunk with the Winnipeg crew, and Brian snores like a chainsaw.

It's now Sunday morning around 8:30, I heard an Otter take off around 15 minutes ago, so I guess I better go get some breakfast before heading to Camp Canada. Although it's sunny, the outside air temp is 3 centigrade, so I'm not in any real rush.

Larry

Change of address notice

Change of address notice

For the next 11 days in case of emergency I can be reached by leaving a
message with the bartender at:

The Bent Prop Saloon
C/O Skydive Arizona
4900 N Taylor Rd.
Attn: Crazy Larry

Well here I am, safe and sound. (Again, a relative term)
The flight wasn't too bad. The first half was fine, but during the second
half my seatmates began to debate the impact of existentialism and geist and
zeitgeist upon the interrelationship of the masculine and feminine equation
and how that impacted the influence of ancient Greek mythology upon modern
society, coupled with the influence of estrogen and testosterone ...........

I have discovered the real reason they search people for weapons before
packing them inside a big metal tube like sardines and sending them across
the continent. Because if I'd had a weapon I'd have used one. The only
difficult part would've been trying to decide whose throat to cut, theirs or
my own.

I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. I
boasted/claimed that I would be "in the air by mid-afternoon". As it turned
out, I arrived on the grounds of Skydive Arizona at exactly 3:27 P.M. I know
this because the very first words I heard upon my arrival were "You're
Late!". That statement was delivered by a well respected individual (in some
circles), who has achieved some minor note in the skydiving world as a
videographer of a certain group of individuals best known for being named
after a bunch of badly dressed used-car salesmen, and who shall remain
unidentified.

While changing planes in Toronto, I ran into a disreputable individual by
the name of Paul Cincinnatto. He subsequently kidnapped me and very much
against my will forced me to accompany him to some god forsaken place in the
middle of the desert (that I happened to be going to anyway) and it's all
his fault I was late. That is not true of course, but since Tim isn't here
yet I have to blame it on someone. Well, parts of it are true, but it's a
little early in the game to start taking the blame for anything myself.

Immediately after that I met my ex, (who isn't really my ex, and if you
really want to know what that's all about you need to contact Heather in
Winnipeg) Dianne Beergirlblondebluecrazy, and since I didn't have any beer
with me she declared the love affair over for good. Sigh. Crushed again.
I don't actually expect that any of the above will make sense to any normal,
well adjusted individuals, which is why I'm sending it to you.

I did manage to get in one Skydive today before they shut things down a
whole hour and ten minutes before sunset. A two point fifteen way, during
which I Did My Part, I Flew My Slot, and I Had A Good Skydive. And according
to a videographer of some minor note who shall continue to remain
unidentified, my performance on that skydive "Did Not Suck". Not that his
opinion is worth anything. But he does have good taste in fine liquor and
finer women. I have pictures to prove it.

The Winnipeg crew had some tunnel time last night so I did everything I
could to encourage them to consume as much beer as possible before they went
in. I felt it was the least I could do. It didn't seem to phase Diane at
all, and in fact her solo flying in the tunnel was fantastic. Fast, precise
turns, level changes and side slides done with complete control. Now if she
could just remember what the skydive is she could really go somewhere.
All in all, the Invasion is off to a good start. The sun is shining, I'm
jumping, and there's no snow.

Larry

Invading I will go, invading I will go.......

Hi Ho The Derio, Invading I will go.

Yes, it's that time of year again, when a True Blue Wrapped In Wool Canadian
Skydiver's thoughts turn to .........................The Canadian
Invasion!!!!!

For those of you who are not in the loop, for 2 weeks every January, the
Eden North Drop Zone from Edmonton descends en masse upon Skydive Arizona,
taking over most of the facilities in what has come to be known as the
"Canadian Invasion".

16 Days of Madness and Mayhem, Pandemonium and Partying, resulting in the
death of billions of innocent brain cells. Innocent being a relative term,
they are merely Skydiver brain cells after all. The beginnings of the
tradition are lost in the mists of time, and people from Moncton, to
Abbotsford, to Alaska, not just Alberta, have found themselves drawn into
the nonsense. The Invaders that I know about include (but are not limited
to) Beth and Tim from Calgary, Dianne Beer Girl Blondebluecrazy, Brian, and
Johnny Larue from Winterpeg (a party crowd if there ever was one), Jo from
Mile High, and in a surprise development, Garth (yes Jo, there is a Santa
Claus, he wears a green and yellow suit). Notable by her absence will be a
certain French Redhead with a dynamite smile, but that does give me a reason
to be happy to return home.

As usual, I will drive fast and take chances, while keeping in mind the
words of several people who have admonished me to exercise caution and
restraint. Yeah, right. That's one reason I'm glad to be heading down there
with Tim. He's widely held to be a very responsible person - when something
bad happens, he's usually responsible. That's not true of course, but enough
people will believe it that I'll be able to pin the blame on him when I do
something stupid.

At least there will be no "Cypress Pouch Of Shame" at this event so that
everybody can tell at a glance when you've hosed the previous skydive in a
particularly egregious manner. I got to wear it at Lost Prairie on no less
than 3 occasions in 6 days, a record that has not been equaled before or
since.

There is a good possibility of a road trip at some point if the weather goes
bad, Vegas has been mentioned, and so has Mexico, although Beth has
expressed concern that Tim and I might trade her to a Mexican farmer for
Tequila. That would never happen of course, her mother knows where to find
me, and I'm not stupid enough to cross her.

Although I doubt the shenanigans and foolishness will equal the goings-on to
be found at an event like Summerfest or the Convention, I promise to
faithfully and truthfully report back to the civilized world the events as
they unfold, complete with photographs, no doubt to serve as evidence at
some future trial.

I leave early Friday morning, and should be skydiving by mid afternoon.
Don'tchya wish ya was comin' along?
Larry

Maybe not completely over

Made a run to Montréal last night for dinner. Got stuck in traffic so it
turned into a 7 hour trip instead of 6. (I took the scenic route). Stopped
on the way to visit an old friend, and her very friendly friend. And her
boyfriend. D'oh!

Got a motorcycle tour of old Montreal and spent the whole time trying to
simultaneously gawk, keep up with the bike in front of me, and not get
killed by my inattention. I had never been through the historic part before
and it was just gorgeous! A marvelous meal in a bring your own wine
restaurant, then a run up to the top of Mont Royal to see the view.

And on the way home this morning, the heavens opened and delivered to me all
the rain I had managed to dodge all vacation.
I guess there is still some fun to be had before the real world again takes
over.

Farnham on Sunday.

Crazy Larry's Excellent Adventure comes to an end.

The plan was to drop by the house long enough to do laundry, reload the food
plan, drop off some of the smuggled Vodka, and put out a couple of fires at
work. The bookkeeper finally squeezed out 9 pounds of bouncing baby Benjamin
and I wuz gonna take care of some of the stuff she was taking care of for me
while I've been wandering around. She's getting pretty good at it though, 16
Minutes flat.

But the fires are a little bigger than expected, the weather is pure crap
for the next couple of days at any drop zone within 10 hours driving, and on
the weekend Tandems are beckoning. So I shall relax for a few days, then get
PAID to Skydive, and maybe even return to work rested instead of returning
to work to rest.

I never shoulda' left Chicago. My cell phone didn't work there so work
couldn't call me back, I coulda' stayed in the Swamp 'cause it was
unoccupied for the week, the booze and food is dirt cheap, and so are the
jump tickets. Oh well, here I sit, in my den, using coffee and Baileys to
wash down the Extra Strength Tylenol and Naproxen, resulting in a wide-awake
drunk with tingling fingers. So I'm still making my own fun.

Made last load Sunday evening at Skydive Chicago, for a total of 64. Packed
'em all meself. Not bad for an old fart.

Then I jumped in the truck, drove like hell, and made first load Monday
morning in Burnaby with a total of 3 hours sleep.

Shortly after I crawled out of the truck the first person I ran into was
Petey. Midway through the conversation he suddenly asks "Hey, are you Strong
Tandem Qualified?" Nope, sorry. Seems they've got a lot of Tandems booked
that day and just Petey and Rick Epp as Tandem Instructors. A few minutes
later I run into Rick, and he asks the same question. When I was in the
hangar packing after my first jump Tara asks as well. Holy crap, I knew
there was a shortage of qualified Tandem Instructors but this is ridiculous.
Shortly afterwards I hear someone call my name, and when I turn to see a
familiar, smiling face above an outstretched hand, I immediately blurt out
"No! I'm Not Strong Tandem Qualified!" The hand was quickly withdrawn and
the poor guy turned away muttering something about "what the hell is a
Strong Tandem?" That's me, making friends everywhere I go. I could get the
rating, but if you've never had a cutaway, you have to do an intentional,
and I want to see how much longer I can go before I chop. I may already hold
a record.

Ended the Day with a smokin' hot 4-way with Brett, Jean, and Derek. That
jump alone made the stop in Burnaby worthwhile. The best part was seeing
Jean laughing in freefall as the other 3 of us pointed "It's a right hand
donut not a left!". I do love a good 4-way.

So that's pretty much it for this year. I will still have some fun in the
next few days, but the manic pace has come to an end.

To all those who have been observing and commenting on the events of the
past couple of weeks, I hope you have enjoyed living vicariously through my
antics. To those who actually participated, I thank you for your company,
your indulgence, your friendship, your forgiveness, your booze, your food,
the skydives, the occasionally entertaining dirt-dives, and letting me join
your party.

Joanne and Larry, we will meet again on a tailgate somewhere, in the sky or
in a parking lot, sooner I hope, rather than later. You run the finest
drive-through I've ever seen.

Kelly, miss your smile and "Hey, it's all fun!'' attitude already. Skills
camp in the spring? Bring Phil.

Tom, bring gear the next time you're passing by this way, we'll go do
something stupid together. And was that turn right 7 streets after the curve
to get to the Liquor store?

Bob, maybe if you try writing the skydive on your arm, it might help the
recall process.

Jean, thanks for the hospitality, and laughing at my jokes.

Al, they announced that next year they would be doing "Battling 100-ways".
100 Flat VS 100 Head-down, whose will build first? The challenge is made,
consider your face slapped. Winner buys the drinks. Do you accept?

Matt, You know where you're gonna be next summer, better warn the bride now.

Gerry, book some vacation time at the end of July 2009, we've got a party to
go to.

And for that matter, anybody who feels so inclined is more than welcome to
tag along, there's always room for 1 more.

Which brings me to Phil. Where do I start? I'm sorry for trying to run you
down in the landing area, but it was worth it to see how big your eyes could
get before you dove for cover. Sorry I ran into your way on another landing
trying to high-five you, but again it was worth it to see your head come
poking out from underneath my canopy after another near-miss. Sorry about
the near canopy collision, perhaps going for 3 more points after everybody
else broke off was one too many. Lets stick to two in the future. Thanks for
the morning coffee, the meals, the laughs, the Baileys, but as for the
VSOP....... my best advice would be to use it to clean paint brushes, it's
simply not fit for human consumption.

I will be returning to Summerfest next year, ready to party, and jump my
Butt off. And armed. Those bastards with the water balloons manning The
Gauntlet are going to be in for surprise.

Crazy Larry
Although many Skydivers were harmed in the activities that these emails were
based on, none of the injuries are permanent, and for the first time in a
long time nobody who was playing with me got broke. The curse is lifted. I'm
once again safe to vacation with.

Extra strength Tylenol and Naproxen for breakfast

You know you're getting old when........

I'm sore. Pretty much everywhere. Not painful. Certainly nowhere near bad
enough to keep me from jumping, just a general ache. My knees and shoulders
are worst. Packing and launches.

I'm going to try and get some "Boogie Rash" pictures later today before
people start to pull out. There are a lot of people going around with
vividly colored handprints in some very strange locations.

Sunday morning and we're waiting for a couple more people to manifest so we
can go up on first load. 57 Jumps. I've got 7 tickets left I want to use
before I go, I hate cashing jump tickets back in. Not bad. And there's still
9 days of vacation left.

I'm going to head to Burnaby when this place starts to wind down. They're
open tomorrow, it's a holiday, and there should be lots of people to play
with. 7 Hours driving, if I time it right I'll sleep in the truck in the
parking lot, and make first load.

Then it's off to ?
Larry

Sunset loads and Night Cross Country's

Late start yesterday for weather. We were on first load when it went off at
1:30, and got to 4 before people started to drop off to go for dinner. I was
going to stop as well but the Brits invited me along to fill out their 6-way
so away we went on a quick call, with me pulling a dive out of my butt that
I explained to them on the way to the plane. considering where the dive came
from it worked pretty darn well.

Once I got packed I debated going on the BFR shorts jump but decided to call
it a day. Then Mike Crow and Olga invited me to fill out their 4-way,
so...... I tried to get on the shorts jump and the sunset load but they
were on different planes and even with 2 rigs I couldn't have made it work.

As we're on jump run with the 4-way the pilot passes back the word to "Track
North" Why? "Because the Casa is on a parallel jump run and they are going
to track South, East, and West". Yep. We're at a Boogie allright.

The Skydive goes very well, lots of points, and we track North as
instructed. Under canopy, as I fly back towards the airport, I can see
canopies scattered everywhere off to the south, and it doesn't look like any
of them are going to make the airport. In the twilight I watch as people
start landing anywhere they can find. Some waited too long and don't have
any outs. One guy lands in a back yard with the canopy draping over a roof,
some are over on the other side of the river, and they're the lucky ones.
Several land in 7 foot tall corn, at dusk. Some look like they went down in
the forest, and a few simply vanish, swallowed by the growing darkness below
me.

When I walk into the hangar manifest is calling for everybody on the last 2
loads to check in. Turns out they lost the entire Casa load. 30 Plus people
dumped over the river, the forest, and the swamp. At dusk. It takes a couple
of hours but they find them all.

Movie night last night. A giant inflatable screen they set up right next to
my tent. If I had known I would have pointed it a different direction when I
put it up so I could lie in my tent and watch the screen.

It's Saturday morning, the sun is barely up, I'm sitting on the deck down at
The Swamp, coffee in hand, waiting for things to come to life.

2 Days left.
Larry

Skydivers, unlimited Tequila, and Toga's.

What could possibly go wrong?
It's not like we're doing CRW!

WARNING!
The attached pictures are not suitable for all viewers.
In fact, one of them is not suitable for viewing by anybody. I include it out of a sense of duty in an attempt to convey the depths of depravity to which a human being can sink. The sender accepts no responsibility for any
trauma, mental, emotional, or spiritual, that may be suffered by anyone
viewing these photos. View at your own risk. All tattoos were applied by
Jesus.

I would like to further state that no Skydivers were injured during the
taking of these photos. But that would be a lie. At the height of the
festivities, one of the party-goers, well fortified by Margaritas, dropped
his toga, charged across the patio of the Tiki Bar, and threw himself over
the railing into the lake. One problem. There was another deck the other
side of the railing. The railing was immediately lined with Skydivers taking
pictures of the poor sod as he curled up into a ball on the unexpected
obstruction, ten feet below, barely conscious. It looked like the Paparazzi
at a Britney Spears wedding. Did I mention he was naked?

He suffered no permanent injuries, but he does have the longest bruise I
have ever seen. His entire side from shoulder to ankle, and it's the
prettiest colors. I'll try and get a picture when he's not covered in ice
packs.

6 Jumps today, weather came in and there were some problems with manifest.

But I have discovered Effen Vodka. And it's pretty Effin Good!
The adventure continues...........

I see Skydivers. They're everywhere!

One of the first people I ran into at registration in Shannonville was
Patrick from Nouvel Air. His girlfriend Sonia was there with her own racing
machine, that's her rear wheel I'm catching up to in the pic.

FAST was a BLAST, as expected. The morning sessions went well, and I was
running even with Jamie, another guy in my group, for fastest lap times. It
started raining just as we broke for lunch and I figured we were done for
the day which is when they started issuing rainsuits. My group kinda put
their heads together and we decided we'd see how it went for the first 2
groups before we decided if we were going to go out on the track as it was
really pouring by then. The first groups seemed to be going awfully fast,
scary fast in fact, and we all agreed that we were not going to go anywhere
near as quick as they were. When it was our turn we started off slow, and I
didn't notice that our instructors were gradually picking up the pace. It
wasn't until Lap 6 as I came screaming down the big straightaway in front of
the grandstand and started to set up for turn 1 that I realized we were
going about 150 kilometers an hour in the pouring rain and I was having FUN!

I slid off the seat and leaned in hard for the turn, rolling on even more
throttle as I was passing Kent on the inside when he went just a little wide
and I saw an opening. As I came out of the turn I passed Jamie and his
GSX-R. Problem was, I didn't pass them simultaneously. First I passed Jamie,
spread-eagle like a starfish, spinning on his back as he slid up the track,
shredded pieces of rainsuit trailing out behind him. A second or two later I
caught up to the bike, spinning on it's side, trailing shredded pieces of
plastic, fiberglass, and various assorted footpegs, shifters and handles.

As I drew abreast it disappeared off the track and vanished in a fountain of
mud and turf. Two thoughts flashed through my mind.: "I hope he bought the
extra insurance." and "Now I'm the fastest guy on the track!"

I started setting up for turn 2, my entire body off the seat, head up,
steering with the inside arm, outside arm relaxed, leaning in, calculating,
analyzing, aiming for the perfect turning point - apex - exit point, and
right into turn 3, pushing it well beyond what I would under normal
circumstances, secure in the knowledge that "It can't happen to Me!". In the
pouring rain.

Jamie was fine. He sat out the next round, and after paying the $250
deductible was back out on the track for the rest of the afternoon.

I got my comeuppance later in the day going into turn 5 when I ran out of
track and went splashing through the mud as the wall of tires came at me.
Despite my doing everything wrong, I managed to get the thing stopped a
couple of feet short of the wall, and returned to the Pits to be set upon by
a laughing group of Instructors armed with push broom, scrub brushes. and
buckets. After they cleaned the tires off they sent me back out with the
admonition " Take it easy on the next lap, they're probably going to be
slippery". Slippery? On turns 5 and 6 I was already spending more time
trying to dodge the machines that were going sideways headed for the
MotoCross Zone than I spent driving my own bike. What the heck did they mean
by slippery?

Anyway, I survived the day, and now I know how to drive really FAST in the
rain.

Spent the night at Jean Hickmans place in Barrie, and after dinner we drank
large amounts of red wine as we watched skydiving videos late into the
night. Thanks for all your hospitality Jean, and I look forward to returning
the favor.

The drive took much longer than expected, in addition to the expected delay
in customs, I got stuck in traffic on the 401 and it took 2 1/2 hours to
cover 10 kilometers. I was stationary for so long I put the laptop on the
passenger seat and started editing pictures. When I finally passed the
accident they were loading the burnt-out skeletons of a couple of tractor
trailers onto flatbeds and into dump trucks using a crane and a front-end
loader. No matter how bad my day might go, somebody else's has already gone
a lot worse.

Finally reached Skydive Chicago on Friday night just after sunset. Man, this
place is HUGE! I got lost in the trailer park looking for Kelly and couldn't
find my way out. In addition to a huge covered packing area there's a
restaurant, Tiki Bar located next to the man made lake filled with regularly
filtered water, pro shop, WiFi, showers, laundry, and more.

Without Matt to egg me on I've been doing a pretty relaxed pace, 22 jumps in
3 days. There are 2 Twin Otters flying up to 30 loads a day each, plus a
Casa doing a dozen more. They're doing 100 to 130 Tandems a day. I've
already inquired about work when I retire. Larry and Joanne arrived
yesterday, and it's a good party so far, but Matt1 Matt2 and Bob are greatly
missed.

It's now Monday night and I'm getting ready to head over to the Flying
Hellfish Toga Party. Phil says he'll lend me a sheet he stole from an
ambulance. I'm afraid to ask for details.

In short, I'm having no fun at all. And Gerry, the next time I go anywhere,
you are the first person I'm going to invite.

I'll send pics of the Toga party when I get the chance
Crazy Larry

Off And Crawling Like A Herd Of Turtles

It's that time of year again, when a young mans fancy turns to thoughts
of.................BOOGIES!!!

I've just finished a last minute, warp speed blast around town on the FZ,
including a half-hour tearing up the Eastern Ramps seeking new limits in the
delicate balance of the laws of physics, gravity, traction, horsepower, and
acceleration, and as soon as I finish this and hit send, I'm OUTA HERE!

Vacation at last!

When most of you receive this I should be headed west at a dangerous and
unsafe rate of speed, stereo pounding to 70's and 80's rock and roll as I
careen down the 401 to Summerfest in Chicago, and you are all invited to
come with me. I promise to get you there, but my plans are kinda fluid so
you might have to get back on your own. Seriously, the offer is there.

I packed 3 tents so this time I shouldn't run out of tents before God runs
out of storms, a coupla' sets of gear, coolers, tarps, even more electronics
than last time, cash cash and more cash, and of course, lots and lots of
Smirnoff Ice. Having too much Vodka is like having too much fun, it just
isn't possible.

I'll sleep in the truck tonight, spend Thursday on the track in
Shannonville - Fast Riding School Phase II - stay at Jean's place in Barrie
on Thursday night, continue on to Chicago on Friday morning, and be jumping
by mid-afternoon.

I promise to drive fast and take chances, remembering that there are TWO
miles of ditches for every ONE mile of road, that danger never takes a
break, and that if things go bad that none of those yahoos I'll be jumping
with is gonna have to explain to my mother why I'm not coming home. (If it
come to that, Kevin, you can have the bike, Cathy the kitchen, Dan the
creepers, Al, go ahead and move in for as long as you want, and everybody
can come over and drink all the booze, there's plenty to go around). I
further promise to always use the appropriate safety equipment, and to watch
out for my friends, as I know they will watch out for me. All the while
keeping in mind my favorite Matt1 quote, "I don't think my helmet's thick
enough for this Skydive'.

All kidding aside, I fully expect to return in more or less the condition in
which I left. No doubt bruised and battered, scraped and scratched, feeling
every day of my 48 1/2 years, considerably poorer, but richer with new
friendships, and old ones renewed.

Many of the usual knuckleheads will not be joining us this year, and for the
first time since 2002 I know going in I'm gonna do more jumps in Illinois
than Matt. Ha! I win!

For the return trip, whenever that happens, I have programmed the address of
every Canadian and U.S. drop zone between Ottawa Illinois, and Ottawa
Ontario into the GPS, and will try and hit as many as possible on the way.
Unless Donald calls in which case I shall head for St. Esprit to Tandem my
ass off and get PAID to Skydive. It so sucks to be me.

I'm half tempted to drop by and pay for Dana to take me for a Tandem just
for sport. It would be fun to have her clip on, then stand up, and carry her
to the plane.

Consider yourself warned Ross: Farnham is dangerously close, and I might
have a few days to kill.

For that matter, Beth and Tim might want to think about checking to see
who's there before they answer the door, everywhere within a couple thousand
miles is within my reach.

In any case I shall be back for August 12th. Unless of course the staff
finally takes the hint and decides to use those matches I handed out to all
of them on my way out the door this morning. They are under standing orders
that if they smell smoke, they are to leave quietly, locking the door behind
them, and rather than calling the Fire Department, to call me and tell me
it's not necessary for me to return. And I shall continue merrily on my way,
skydiving through the insurance money.

If there's anybody down Toronto way who wants to tag along, call my cell at
613-853-2794, leave a message, and I'll pick you up as I pass through on
Friday. If not, well you can't say you never got invited!

Crazy Larry, C-3082, Coach II, Tandem Instructor, SSI (pending), PL-97, Muff
967, Skydog 156, Flying Hellfish 476, Dirty Sanchez 382.